|Kikinig yan ng "KUNG AKO NA LANG SANA":)|
Friday, November 26, 2010
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Who Owns My Heart
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Nothing significant comes to my mind.
But trying to grasp what the innermost part of my thinking mind says.
I have been in this state for few days.
I so hate this feeling.
I feel like I have done nothing good for my studies and in all aspects of my being.
Last week, our Accounting professor announced the schedule of our first ever minor exam. We had the exam yesterday. Being so confident, I did not review the lessons we had discussed. And being so inattentive during lectures whatsoever, I wasn't acquainted of the contents of the exam. I thought it was pure analysis—value received and value given away, that kind of thing—I ignored the acronyms mentioned in the lectures and even the statements and facts about accounting. Whew!!! Only to discover that those things I ignored were of majority in the test items.
Then this morning, I crossed path with my former classmate who happened to have checked my test paper, he told me that I got 50 something out of 100 items. Ayun! Kinda' disappointing. But I know that it was the result of my performance in this particular circumstance. Nakaka-frustrate!
You know guys, being out of school for three years was a real challenge. Looking at its positive view, it was the time that I realized the need of going to school, the desire to earn a degree to mention some. But you know, now that I am back to being a student, I feel like I am starting again as a K1, and maybe worse, as growing infant who's taught by a mom. I really hate it! Adjustment? Maybe. It's so hard. Sometimes, I even think that I cannot move on to this predicament anymore. That I will be in this state forever—confused and seems illiterate! I wouldn't want to be like this, but neither would I dream of leaving school again.:(
PS: mamaya ulit... may klase pa ako. Sa fourth floor pa.
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Wee!!! We will have quizzes tomorrow. First ever written outputs.
Ayee!!! After a tiring travel from my place to here, I still managed to update my blog.
Hmmm... Just can't get over with this intriguing chain question friends sent to me:
"Someday I wanna be Mrs. ______."
Bilang may pakisamang nilalang at marahil dahil "infatuated" ako ngayon (actually matagal na din), sinagot ko naman. Saya-saya ko kasi inaasahan ko ding interesado siya sa'kin at parang magiging close din kami. Ambisyosang nilalang talaga ako eh. Haha!
Manhid siya. Napakamanhid!!!!
I really WANT him, LIKE him but I ain't sure if I already LOVE him. aha!!
Eto nga pala.
I already have John Grisham's THE PELICAN BRIEF.
It's actually been handed to me by a friend for four months now, I think.
Friday, November 19, 2010
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
I have met this man of my dreams—more than 10years ahead of me who already enjoys his profession as a teacher and in the process of his business venture. We are now four months in our more than friends but less than lovers affair. I remember how contented I once was. Later on, everything turned the way I least expected them to be. The affection slowly faded away, the longing eradicated from my system and simply, the love I once had with him turned out to be something I cannot appreciate anymore. He is the first man who ever let me realize the pain of being untrusted, doubted and even though he exaggerated his negative views about me, he doesn't fail to give me simple thrills from his simple lines of praises. Above all his shows of affection and doubts, he lets me discover myself more. As he once put it, "You have many men. How many f***ed you? You deserve not to be trusted and loved." I am very particular that you bet how I felt upon hearing those words from someone not-so-dear. Yeah! It made me rage in deep flare. But it's not wrong to have doubt for I believe that trusting and believing without any doubt is being blind, blind love for the one we adore. I also reflected on his doubtful line, it's true that I never entered any serious relationship since I had my first, three years earlier and although I can pretend that entering one again is not on my list, I simply cannot deny in myself that I have been waiting for one in this early age. Admittedly, I have had more or less 20out-of-commitment affair with guys ranging from July 2007 up to 2009. I hoped that "THE ONE" could be one of them, I set no qualifications and tried everyone who were halfway of my ideal man. As many of you guess it, those were kind of game. And the loser? It's me. I expected something beyond what circumstances could grant me.
This man I am talking about visibly doesn't trust me, however, he still remains as the man I like—the man in my dreams. All he guaranteed me is the lesson I have learned only from him. That there is a right time for love. Lo9ve can wait. Whatever! But it's the greatest thing I have to thank him.
Well, life really goes this way. Seems unfair but it's where thrills of emotional aspect of life comes from and certainly, we cannot expect it to be the way we want.
hindi ko pa rin pala talaga kayang mag-open dito ng tungkol sa totoong problema ko..:(
Sunday, November 14, 2010
School circumstances have been so uncompromising for me or maybe I just have an uncompromising disposition that worth the blame. I keenly bring to mind the hurry-scurry outset of my second semester. I know that I can’t reproach somebody or a thing for being too unprepared during those first three days of school but I hardly make out what I should have done or what I misguidedly done that brought about immense aggravation.
Friday, November 12, 2010
Hang-out ng tropa, sa may lilim ng puno ng gemelina. O kaya, sa riverside, malapit sa may beer-house.
At ang isa pa, hindi lang lalake ang marunong umakyat sa concrete na bakod. Nag-over the bakod kami minsan dahil sa ayaw kaming palabasin ng guard samantalang wala naman yung aming guro.
Junior high school naman, sa kaartehan ku na siguro to. nilalayuan ku yung pinsan kong guy na may dala-dalang palaka tapos isinusunod naman sa'ken ng gagu. Muntik pa ku mag-collapse.
Freshman, first sem naman sa kolehiyo, nung nasa NC pa ako. Araw-araw ang inuman sa tambayan ng grupo pero nakaharap lang ako tapos nakikipatak na lang ng pambili ng maiinom.
gang college pala yung nabanggit ko..:))
Thursday, November 11, 2010
|the girly chain gift|
2. Pay it forward to 15 other bloggers that you have newly discovered.
3. Contact those blog owners and let them know they’ve been chosen.
- When I had my first affair with a guy, this RJ moron has another girl who happened to be my schoolmate. It was when I was a senior high school.
- When I met Mr. AC, he went too close to me and unexpectedly, I fell for him only to know that he loved another girl who happened to be one of our common friends.
- I have met guys who talked of nothing but flesh satisfaction. They are so sensual! They even frankly told me what they want..to have a deeper and intimate affair with me!! that's bullshit!
- I just recently had an affair with a man who always doubt me as a flirt. My God! (Nasa mukha ko ba?)
- I even met a man who told me that I will be his bride. ONE OF THEM! Ugh... antipatiko! (in his dreams!!!)
- Boys who can't stick with his girl—whose hobby is fooling around.
Tuesday, November 09, 2010
I've been browsing blogs on the web for me to understand more what to do with this blog, how to blog and what to blog. Mine is a kind of, well, on line diary/journal where I unbosom anything that would annoy or inspire me. I did not make this account to entertain anyone, I did not intend to socialize or make friends but it's my way to lighten up myself when dispirited or anything but there are things I can't share here or publicize.
I have been in the blogging world for more than a year now. I have had visited many blog pages and known that blogger(s) have different purposes in blogging but one common thing among us--blogger(s)--is that we do it as a hobby. I just recently had time to search for blogs worth an admiration and I want to share this one I am fond of, "ser mots", "tatay mots", "good morning tatay", as many of his followers call him. Just go immediately to http://motsmots.blogspot.com/. He has a unique way of giving entertainment to his readers. I can't recall how I got into his page but since I had visited it, I spend most of my time in surfing the net reading his posts at nakikibasa na lang din ng mga komento sa mga entry niya. I even spend my vacant time at e-lib just to visit his blog. Nakakatuwa lang kasi talaga basahin yung mga di naman walang kwentang post niya..:)
ps: e-mail posting po ang gamit ko kaya url ang naka-type..:)
Monday, November 08, 2010
Friday, November 05, 2010
I got up to prepare for my 10:00 class, my first class for today. It was almost 10 when I finished my bath and I wouldn't want to be late. I rushed, rushed and rushed. Well, I am already used to this kind of routine--waking up late and preparing for school in the last minute--BUT very well I also know that I have to change, to turn it right.
I neatly dressed myself in proper school uniform--dark blue skirt (I don't really know what color it is), tucked-in buttoned white blouse for top and black flat shoes with black foot socks. I entered my class but it's the instructor who wasn't present. I don't really know why during first days of each semester, most of the instructors absent themselves or maybe they're around but prefer to get out of the way for the not yet official schedules for subjects/classes they would handle.
Now, while waiting for the bell to ring, for our next class, I decided to spend an hour here at the school e-lib.
Til next time.:)