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Saturday, March 20, 2010

Mindfully Retrospection

Mindfully Retrospection…
Once in my leisure time, I was exchanging text messages with Gurl, we talked about writing and suggested me to write an article about FRIENDSHIP—particularly on how unlike poles attract. Since then, I’ve been trying to call up how I got into a group, how the friendship started and how each of us in our peer circle jibed behind the differences we have—and what are those differences?
I remember Jomz told me “coke”, when I asked him how our friendship began. Well, I still have a slight recollection about it. During break time in our high school days (we were then, seniors), instead of buying a 12 oz/8 oz bottle of soft drinks, I and whoever my company was, would find one or two to conduce an amount of money with that could afford one liter coke/pop mega (costs 18/15 Php by the time) and we would divide the drink into the number of contributor—it’s cheaper, that’s it!
How unlike signs attract each other? How two or group of people able to click in the midst of their contradistinctions? Oh my! It racks my mind ‘neng!
Well, here are some of the differences of friends I am cognizant of:
Religious beliefs,
Outlooks in life,
Interests and likes,
Ways of thinking.
We belong to different religions—most of my peers are catholic and I am singly baptized at Iglesia Ni Cristo; I envisage my future positively and, surely, so they do; most of us love different things and do different stuffs but I guess, it’s prevalent in most groups to have the interest to discover who their companions really are; there are introvert and extrovert in our peer circle (I can’t describe each of them in a word eh); and we have our own unique sense of judgment, taking circumstances and different responses to metamorphosis in this ever modernized milieu.
What then, enchains and beefs up the good camaraderie? As I see it, it is for many reasons. Let’s try to examine and look back to the past.
For the nonce as I am writing this piece, an activity of our Values Education subject when we were senior high school, flashes across my mind. It was “BITE MY BACK EVEN IT HURTS” activity our subject teacher prepared—kind of open forum. In the first part, we brought out a piece of paper wherein anyone in the class would write their comments to each of us—masungit, maingay, masakit magsalita, prangka are some of their comments to me. I have been that way but I guess I have to introduce new blood—maybe to be liked by others. Sadly, I couldn’t do the self-transformation easily. To my friends’ part, this girl’s self-centeredness was on the outs for most of us in the group, when she would say “this” then it should be “this”, get? She would go only to where she would feel like going and do what she would feel like doing; there was no rule of majority for her. We were against her hostile ways and it once provoke a spat that our group came to the point of disjuncture—some joined her and others remained in the group. Whew! Sorry, what I can share is obfuscated retention on how we were submitted to arbitration. We talked the “I-want-this” “I-want-that” thing over with the guidance of our teacher (yata). Told our pal to at least, give way to what is in majority and the rest is a history (ha-ha).
Another part of the activity…
We were given the chance to talk in front of the class, speak our mind—mention names of those ones we hate and why (marami pa eh) and freely clear up anything we wanted and even explained ourselves. I did not expect to have the most “hate”. I often remember this girl who enunciated “parang mababa ang tingin niya sa’min” (I was shocked and said in my mind, “what? How could she say so?”). Then my turn to stand in front of the class, I started my speech by saying sorry to those I’ve hurt and cleared myself up to “she-thinks-she’s-got-the-higher-level” girl.
After the open forum …
Ma’am Jane let us approach anyone we want in the class.
I approached my guy friend whom I’ve been so mean to, “sorry [Levin], I love you!” I sincerely uttered. He seemed reluctant to accept my apology so, “hindi na mauulit”, I assured him. So there!
I’ve mentioned dissimilarities I and my friends have, and my flaws I failed to change. See? They might have turned off of me; instead, they accepted me for who I really am.
Let’s go back to the question, how unlike signs attract? Like in magnetism, the poles have fundamental differences but attract each other that which can be explained theoretically; so as to friendship, the clique can be able to come to terms which has psychological explanations (I think).
Perhaps, it’s our interest to discover new things or learn from other person that actuates us to befriend with someone. Perhaps, it’s the easiness we feel towards our acquaintances that makes them persona grata.
What binds the coterie? As what I have observed, it’s the openness—openness to discuss what should be clarified, openness to talk a conflict over to arrange it, openness for such solutions to settle a dispute—comprehension for each others peccancy and mistakes (imperfections) and above all, it’s our friendly love. If we love them, there’s the concern, care, compassion and every positive word related to it (he-he). Love is the root word—it’s where friendship begins.
Even though we have tremendous differences, we have learned to adjust ourselves to each other’s distinct world; we have to accept each other (we thought) but at least, we learned a lot from each others help and at one point, we have learned the real meaning of friendship which is acceptance; another one, we have accepted each other but as time passed by, we have learned to change for the better and perhaps, to have our friends is to discover our real selves.
Through thick and thin, through all the good times and bad times, keep going pals! Aja!
I want to end this with this:
Treasure the friendship you have.