read me..:)

Thursday, September 30, 2010

Song that spices up my mood..

This night, while doing my lessons in AC, I repeatedly played DAVID COOK's "ALWAYS BE MY BABY". My friend's question if I am in love right now suddenly came across my mind. Because I really feel love whenever I listen to this song, it brightens up my mood. It inspires me. haha. I love HIM--DAVID COOK--SO MUCH!

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

acting in accordance with thinking

This is such a boring day. Our classes this morning were disrupted. Not only this day actually, seems like it will go this way the entire week because of the on-going AS week. At this very moment, I am at Apo Pilo (as usual).

Recalling my first class for today, at 7 in my Rizal subject, I entered my class 15 minutes after 7 which should be considered absent—thanks to Sir Aduca for the consideration.

Now, I just want to share what I have noticed in myself, thinking but not doing. It's just really hard to act in accordance with our thinking I thought, but nah. The problem is in me. Well, I just began thinking about it when Sir Aduca instructed us on how to do our reflection paper. Since I am running out of time now, I have to make my post shorter than I wished to do.

To act in accordance with thinking is hard someone said but come to think of it. What does really make it hard to do what must be done? For me, it's the lack of plans in life. In planning out, we should be wise in time management. Value every minute, every second of the day. I just hope I can do good in school next sem—hoping that I won't be asked to break off with my studies again. You know, I really don't take academics seriously but it's so wrong. As for this semester, I am worried with the result of my performance in two of my subjects. If only I can turn back time, I would rewind the very first day of this school year and rectify everything needed to be corrected. My God, I am not learning. I know I can learn only if I let myself learn from everything that I should get lesson from.

Who could correct this attitude? I'm hoping so to be better next sem.

Sunday, September 26, 2010



Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth
Would care to know my name
Would care to feel my hurt
Who am I, that the Bright and Morning Star
Would choose to light the way
For my ever wandering heart

Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You're

I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
A vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours, I am Yours

Who Am I, that the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love and watch me rise again
Who Am I, that the voice that calmed the sea
Would call out through the rain
And calm the storm in me

I am Yours
Whom shall I fear
Whom shall I fear
'Cause I am Yours
I am Yours

Well, I just remember our recollection held at the Sacred Heart that was facilitated by sir Benjamin and a sister. I am a member of Iglesia Ni Cristo and i study here in SMU--a catholic school. I actually felt uneasy in joining the said activity but since it's required for us to pass a certain subject, I participated, of course, still with pangs of hesitation.
thanks God! there was something worth remembering in the activity. the lyrics alone in the song, you can come up with an idea about what i am talking here.
They—the facilitator—related to us the PARABLE OF THE SEED AND THE SOWER. I can't quite remember the whole story. We were instructed to find “treasures” (I actually do not know how to call it and can't remember what they call it).
I chose the “PATH” where there was a rocky, good soil and one other I can't remember. We had to explicate why we chose what we chose. Ours was path represents what we have went through, what we have experienced and realized. There were people who caused us to change and circumstances that shaped us to what we are now. Slip-ups and mistakes we failed to rectify but at least considered contributory in our becoming. Above all these bitter fragments of life, there is someone who never forgets us. We may strengthen our relationship to HIM—Lord GOD.

Friday, September 24, 2010

an incomplete thought

It's just an ordinary day but welcome weekends—it's what we, students (not all of us) love, rest day, time for gimmicks, relaxation and for some, time for house chores.
It's vacant time and we usually spend our free time here at Apo Pilo, making research, checking new mails on yahoo, reading blog posts and so on.
I'm just in mood to update my blog though I don't have much to say. Just want to share what happened in our English class today. Our topic was about MAKING INFERENCE/DRAWING PREDICTIONS. It's an individual recitation presented in front of the class. We showed cartoon drawings from newspaper editorials. Mine was a picture of two opposing parties about sex education. The Education sector that wishes to offer sex education and the church that contradicts it. My inference was that, for the education sec, it would be a help to teach sex education to students regardless of the age for them to attain proper values. On the other hand, for the church, it wouldn't be the answer and it would just lead them (students) to promiscuity.
Well, talking of values, where does it really learned and how does it developed? Fact is, it begins with the family, we inherit our parents values whether bad or good. Family plays the fundamental role in shaping our characters. We are called liars because it is what we learned from our family. We can be of good disposition because we are taught the right way. Guys, I don't say that, development of our characters begins and ends to where we're first taught—inside the family. There is no such perfect family ties. What we become of is the result of our thinking, reactions towards circumstances (bitter or not), influences from companions and modernization of our world BUT what can make us wholesome and good is our relationship to God. We should put God in the center of our lives.
Family, friends and this world are what influence one's values and character BUT if you are aware that you are out of the line, then find a way to get back to the right path.
Just a hanging thought. :)

Thursday, September 23, 2010

nothing important actually:)

Hey guys! How are you? Well, I was just surprised to know that I have lot of readers here. I wanna thank everyone who keeps visiting my page. Thank you guys! I love it. You know guys, this blog is intended for, well, nothing in particular but I really am surprised that there are some who waste time on reading my posts. I really love it. I just made this blog, like what I have said, to write here what I can’t express verbally. As you can notice, most of my posts aren’t worth sharing.
This day? Nothing  significant happened. I just can’t forget what happened at Apo Pilo this afternoon. I and my classmates were on the go for our research. We really busied ourselves through research—copy-pasting, editing, you know. Just a few minutes, we were almost done. The lights went off and just a few seconds, there the computer units went off too—power went out.
Another nakaka-badtrip, I opened my yahoo account to check new mails—a hundred new mails, thousand unopened. I was sending my reply to one of the messages I received then power power power went out! My goodness.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

finally, just finally :)

Weh!! Finally, finally, finally! I have moved to my new boarding house. I actually packed my things I had to bring with me in a rush last night. I didn’t even mind my new board mates’ question—they were wondering why I moved at night if in the first place I can move during daytime. Finally, I am able to sleep soundly and peacefully.
My classmates told me that I look depressed—maybe because I was deprived of rest these past two nights plus the worries in school. On Monday, I woke up early and prepared for school an hour before my first class just to do my assignments only, our instructor did not asked us to pass them all when I exerted much much effort just to finish them for me to pass them on time since we were instructed to submit them by Monday. Whew! The following day, today (Tuesday), we (10 of us I guess) share only one bathroom in the boarding house so I had to wake up very early to prepare for my 7AM class for us not to race with the use of the bathroom. Churva! After taking my lunch, I went to my bed right away to take forty-winks. Kelangan ko pang bawiin mga pagpupuyat ko. :)

Sunday, September 12, 2010

just a work of imagination

As I can vividly recall, I and a friend had a nostalgic reminiscence of the good old times with our past boyfriends and best friend (best guy friend actually) then off to bed. I was so sleepy but as I lied down in my bed, my world descended. There were many things in my mind but what I really wanted at the very moment was to rest. I really do not know why my sleepiness went away. After an hour or two of just lying down, sleep finally came over me.

Here how the terrible night occurred.

I got up from bed at around 3AM to get something in my bag. Then, went back to my bed to sleep again. As I lied back down, I felt that someone was moving my bed as if there was an earthquake. I ignored it but I I admit it scared me to death. My heartbeat went faster and faster and faster. Then another terrifying point, when I was calmed, there was something went under my bed. This something lifted my foam bed. My God! My heartbeat again went faster and faster and faster, it was scarier—Iwas dead scared. Only, even if someone manages to hide under my bed, he would no way lift my foam. Whew! What a work of imagination but whether it was just my playful imagination or not, TAKOT na talaga ako sa boarding. Admittedly, I even didn't go upstairs since I left for school this morning.

Sunday, September 05, 2010

a search for motivation? find yours!

I was just inspired to write this piece by a fellow marian’s article in SMU mag, entitled “resurrection”. He talked about his mistakes and his eagerness to gain second chance—with lots of efforts he proved his family that he deserved second chance. He compared it with Jesus Christ’s death and resurrection.
Here I go. I was wondering if reading such articles would fulfill my craving for motivation. Still, I couldn’t say it would but at some point at least, I got an idea on how to start revealing my predicament.
Pressure, temptation and addiction are inevitable which would lead us to savage changes until we come to the extent that we’d lose our conscientious disposition that is oftentimes concomitant to downfall of our aspirations. Talking of stepping out of the line, it is what we, students love to do—having the freedom to decide for what we think is for own good and search for happiness. In other words, we really enjoy being partly independent. Independence in self-indulgence but accompanied with negligence of proper conscience. Sometimes, we fail to realize that what we are doing would lead us to darkness and incapability to recognize our real world.
I am here at SMU having been granted the opportunity to restart my bachelor’s degree—sincerest gratitude to my brother who financially supports me. Like most of you, I am covetous of the paper which declares that one has complied with the prerequisites on a certain course, after four or five years of sacrifices, determination and hard-work. BUT there’s a big problem in my case, my very predicament and I know that I am nowhere to blame my family for being too slothful in my studies. I’ve been trying hard to love formal education like how I love real-life lessons, the problem is within me. I let myself used to do such worthless stuffs—earning friends (I don’t say that winning many friends is not right) not acknowledging myself of the limitations. With this pronounced supine, the more likely I lead myself to despair and less likely I feel the pangs of compunction I was stuck with.
Being marian contributes very little to my complacence as a student because of this laziness I cannot escape but knowing that I have a wide range of chance for self-transformation and self-improvement, I am willing to do every possible way to get back to the right path. I guess I should always remind myself that “EDUCATION IS THE BEST ANTIDOTE FOR (FILIPINO) IGNORANCE” –Jose P. Rizal, and that “I have brush and colors, I paint paradise and then in I go” –Nikos Kazantsakis. None of us would want to be imprisoned with uttered ignorance so before total darkness comes, I should be able to gain life’s enlightenment—I have to regain vigor. We aim not hellish life but paradise so before hell ever seize me I must take a very tight grip to the hands of practicality.
How about you? Have you ever realized the needs of changes in any angle of your personality? :)

a painful goodbye, a happy beginning

Being with someone special is one of the precious moments in our lives. Well, I was with one of the most special people in my life last night. I missed him, that’s what I know. I was so happy chatting with him even if it meant welcoming pain—I really didn’t care—we talked about his girlfriend, his bestfriend and nothing more important.
It was like being in a dramatic scenario—I really can’t imagine that I was able to confide that I was hurt upon hearing about his bestfriend. What I cannot forget the most is that I prepared myself for our last bonding—it might be our last talk and I accepted this possibility.
There were many things I wanted to reveal but I was afraid to hear painful truth. I wanted to confess one thing but I did not bother. I wanted to ask him one thing but I preferred to keep myself dangling. I wanted to tell him one thing but I was afraid to hear responses that might embarrass me. I don’t know if I can stand this reality of losing someone but I know it has to be this way.
*di naman aku drama.:))

Thursday, September 02, 2010

soo soo sad..:(

I am at Apo Pilo library with my fellow students from different schools/department.
We just checked our English exams and majority of the number of students in our class failed (I guess),including myself--I got 65.5 out of 140 (daw). My God! In instances like this, I remember Ma'am Pataueg, our Finance101 instructor. She is used to telling us "dapat kung my quiz/exams, tumbasan mu naman yung ibinibigay na allowance mu sa maghapon." something like that. And she would add, "halimbawa pag ang quiz, 20 items, dapat naman maipasa mo..." do you get the point? Rarr.. It should be that way talaga but I dunno what's happening to my life as a student. di ko feel na estudyante ako. I even confided to someone. He told me that he saw Gabriella Silang in me--easily giving up my dreams (daw). That should not be but neither would I promise myself to get higher grades next examination or in the coming quizzes in any of my subjects.