My stomach seem to explode! Wee! I dunno why in hell I suddenly got this indisposed but hell sure, I don't feel like going to the CR to release "sama ng loob". Ha ha. It's damn painful. As usual, though this thing isn't usual, I again have too many complaints in my daily living. For this day, waking up too early even when my system has not yet fully rested from yesterday's tiring activities, being exposed to a research work (at this point of my college life?? Duhh!!), and my everyday life's twin which is being so nonsensical in everything I do, to mention some. I really ain't committed in every task I am assigned to work with. My life's twin indeed – walking without motivation, direction – a master and captain without any plan. I really have stopped planning for any thing. Not even for an hour activity. This is so bad.
Back in 2008, when I stayed at my tita's house in Fairview, Quezon City, I had always wished of going back to school and continue pursuing my chosen field. I had always told myself that no matter how hard our life may be, everything will be alright. I had promised myself to study hard as a stepping stone in going to the finish line of my endeavor. I always reminisced what I did in 2007 when I was still studying at Northeastern College – doing accounting stuffs, the debit-credit rule and everything about it which I hardly understood back then, and oh, those things that are still confusing for me up to now. I don't think it depends on how young or old a student for her/him to attain wider comprehension. And neither I would think that experience entails higher understanding in the course. Well, I mean it's kind of my second take of the course now but nothing has changed, after a classroom discussion, i still get to read the topic many times (which I actually neglect to do).
And to be true to myself for the time being, i miss having someone as sweet as Micky but not someone like him who is full of pretensions. I wish for someone who can be true to me. True explains everything i want in a man-woman relationship. i want one who doesn't see his relationship with me as a gamble to be played along safely in order for him to dump me when already finds another. someone who would lovingly build his own dreams with me and everything a girl wishes his man would be like. i want to give emphasis to this last line,
I want one who doesn't think of purely satisfying his carnal desire through me.