Ewan ko.

"Intelligence is NOT the key to success."

Tsk! Again, naka-relate na naman ako sa kwentuhan namin ng aking tita kaninang umaga. Kung anuman iyon, basta walang kinalaman sa UTAK at DISKARTE. Parang naalala ko lang ang pagkukulang ng papa ko sa'kin, sa aming magkakapatid, from financial to moral support. Kung paanong ganyan, iyon yung pagkakaintindi nakalap kong kwento ng karera niya.

Something to this effect:

My dad worked in a company where he was one of the authorities. It so happened that the company came to the brink of bankruptcy. Since he was known to be a good CPA, Landbank tried to court him proposing a lower position but was willing to give him a salary equal or higher than what he got from the other company. He declined the offer. Siguro bilang nagpapahalaga at loyal na empleyado sa kumpanya...

Napakasayang talaga! Kung hindi niya siguro ni-reject yung offer ng Landbank, di kami naghihirap ngayon.

Prayers answered..

hindi ko matantya kung ilang buwan na akong nagtitiis sa pabalik-balik na sakit ng ulo ko, usually, sa hapon at umaga sumasakit. Hindi ko na din matandaan kung kelan pa ako nagkaroon ng blurred vision pag nagbabasa ng libro sa harap ng klase. Alam kong hindi na normal 'to, nabanggit ko na din naman sa parents ko pero wala pa akong pampa-check up sa ngayon. Ganyan kasi talaga pag dukha (di bale, mukhang mayaman aman..HAHA!). I must admit, I am very weak in handling emotional problems and at the same time, I am not vocal with such problems to anyone. And yes! I have n\been told many times that I appear emotionally strong and nothing in my actions would indicate that I am the other way around—vulnerable. But mind you, I am not hiding my vulnerability. I just do not want to talk about my feelings (except when blogging).

The good thing is that, I have recently started actively joining our church' activities and it's enlightening to do so.

If I were to compare my disposition now and before I have come to this realization, I would say “goodbye to my good old self”. I have wished of nothing but to attain peace of mind. Now that He granted my prayers, why leave the right track? I may not be bestowed material possessions, being blessed with spiritual gain, I am confident and optimist that no matter what this life would take me in, He will light my path.

Thanks to the kid who taught me how to prioritize and what to put first in everything I do. He's right. Put God first and do everything that glorifies Him.

Sa sobrang sakit ng ulo ko kagabi, di ko na alam ang gagwin ko at parang walang laman ang utak ko. Ang kaisa-isang naisip ko, magpunta ng kwarto at manalangin. It isn't the first time, effective talaga ang pananalangin. Hindi naman kasi ako yung tipong marunong at di nakakalimot manalangin pero kahit ganun, I still feel the presence of God in my life. And having Him up there should be the greatest thing to be treasured, hindi ang material wealth.

kabanas lang

until now, di ko pa rin makalimutan yung school nurse na 'yon....

I went to the dean of women yesterday to get admission slips for i already have three absences, one in my math class which is scheduled MWF and two in my PE subject scheduled TTh. 

i scribbled "recurring headache" as reason of my absences with my absences dated July 11, 12 and 14; Monday, Tuesday and Thursday, respectively. When Ma'am Mila, the dean of women noticed my reason saying "recurring is what?" and "pabalik-balik Ma'am" i replied. "Did you go to a doctor for check up?" she asked again. "Mam nah. I am not used to." I answered. Well, to make it short. She advised me to see the doctor in our school since consultations in school clinic is included in our tuition fee. Then  she signed my admission slips on the "excused" field.

at the school clinic where i met the school nurse....

me: good morning ma'am.

gave me a questioning stare.

me: Ma'am (Mila) Pataueg told me to go here because of the reason i wrote here (referring to my admission slips).

nurse: recurring headache? umiinom ka ba ng gamot?

me: nah mam... i am not used to taking medicines.

nurse: nagpa-check up ka ba?

me: (shook my head) i am not used to.

*siningit niya pa makipag-usap sa mga kasama niya sa clinic at sinabing, "in fairness, ang bait ni mam mila ha. kung ganitong reason lang di tatanggapin ni sir cantong (the dean of men)."

nurse: i can't give you excuse letter with your admission slips past-dated.

me: maam mila told me to have at least, a check up because she thinks it might be another sickness.

nurse: do you have medical certicate?

me: yes mam, back in 2007.

nurse: nasa'yo?

me: i left it in the school i attended in 2007 mam.

nurse: panu to? (checking my admission slips) absent ka ng 11, 12 at 14 with the same reason. (with a hint of doubt as if it was a lie)

*siningit na naman makipag-usap sa mga kasama niya and told them the same line.

me: it actually happens [almost] everyday mam. especially upon waking up, and in the afternoon.

nurse: have you experienced blurred vision?

me: yes ma'am. sometimes, i can't see what's written on the book when i am reading in front of the class.

nurse: ganito na lang, sa ophthalmologist ka magpunta, kasi sabi mu nga lumalabo ang paningin mo. baka kaya ka nagkakaganyan.

me: sige mam. thank you! (and left)

* sa totoo hindi lang tatlong beses niyang isiningit ang makipag-usap sa mga kasama niya samantalang nandon pa akong kaharap at kausap niya, oras ng trabaho eh. bago pa ako makatayo sa kinauupuan ko, nakipag-usap na naman sa mga kasam niya at inulit ulit lang yung paulit ulit niyang sinabi..muntikan kong sinabihan na “wag mo isiping gawa gawa ko lang yan. Unless it’s simply because you yourself used to do it during your college days.” buti nahabaan ko pa ang pasensya ko.

Bubu din kasi ako. I mistakenly dated one of my admission slips with July 14 instead na July 7.

Recheck...

Masaya lang ako ngayong araw dahil, sapagkat, pagakat….
nagkaroon kami ng quiz sa accounting2 (Accounting for Partnership and Corporation). Bagama’t, kahit…kinakabahan ako noong una sa magiging resulta ng trabaho ko dahil hindi naman kasi tagala ako gaanong nakikinig sa classroom discussion at lalong di nagbabasa o advance study, halos makuha ko lahat ang tamang sagot. Kung masipag nga lang kasi ako mag-recheck ng trabaho ko, malamang nakita ko din ang error ko.
Tungkol sa admission of new partner by investment ang quiz.
I’m sure, there are still some who can relate with accounting matters.


Here’s the problem.


Cosme, Canlas and Cura are partners with profit and loss ratio of 30%, 50% and 20%, respectively. Their capital balances are: Cosme-150000pesos; Canlas-300000pesos; Cura-50000pesos. Corazon is admitted into the partnership by investing 150000pesos.


CASES:
1) 1/5 interest in the partnership with a capital credit equal to his investment.
2) 1/5 interest in the partnership with total agreed capital of 650000pesos.
3) 30% interest in the partnership with total agreed capital of 650000pesos.
4) 15% interest in the partnership with total agreed capital of 750000pesos.
5) 1/5 interest in the partnership , bonus being allowed.


And here are the answers.
1) TAC-75000                                         CCr- 150000
   TCC-65000                                          Ccont-150000
            100000-Asset revaluation                           - 0 –


Other Asets                                        100000
              Cosme, Capital(100000x.30)                    30000
              Canlas, Capital(100000x.50)                    50000
              Cura, Capital(100000x.20)                       20000


Cash                                                   150000
              Corazon, Capital                                       150000


2) TAC-65000                                           CCr- 130000
    TCC-65000                                           Ccont-150000
                                                                            20000-bonus to old partners


Cash                                                   150000
              Corazon, Capital                                       150000


Corazon, Capital                                 20000
               Cosme, Capital(20000x.30)                       6000
               Canlas, Capital(20000x.50)                      10000
               Cura, Capital(20000x.20)                           4000


3) TAC-65000                                              CCr- 195000
    TCC-65000                                              Ccont-150000
                                                                                45000-bonus to Corazon
Cash                                                   150000
               Corazon, Capital                                       150000


Cosme, Capital(45000x.30)                13500
Canlas, Capital(45000x.50)                 22500
Cura, Capital(45000x.20)                     9000
              Corazon, Capital                                          45000








4) TAC-75000                                        CCr- 112000
    TCC-65000                                       Ccont-150000
             15000 -Asset Revaluation                    37500-Bonus to old partners






Other Asets                               100000
               Cosme, Capital(100000x.30)                       30000
               Canlas, Capital(100000x.50)                        50000
               Cura, Capital(100000x.20)                           20000


Cash                                         150000
              Corazon, Capital                                          150000


Corazon, Capital                        37500
               Cosme, Capital(37500x.30)                         11250
               Canlas, Capital(37500x.50)                         18750
               Cura, Capital(37500x.20)                              7500




5) TAC-65000                                              CCr- 130000
    TCC-65000                                              Ccont-150000
                                                                              20000-Bonus to old partners


Cash                                                    150000
              Corazon, Capital                                            150000


Corazon, Capital 20000
               Cosme, Capital(20000x.30)                           6000
               Canlas, Capital(20000x.50)                          10000
               Cura, Capital(20000x.20)                              4000


TAC stands for total agreed capital.
TCC-total contributed capital
CCr-capital credit
CCont-Capital contirbuted


*Sadly, hindi ko nasagot ng tama yung number 5 sa kadahilanang (gaya nung nakaraang linggo) mali ang TAC ko. Di pa ako sure kung yan yung tamang sagot sa case number5.
Kaya ikaw, lagi mong i-recheck sagot mu kung mahaba pa naman ang oras o kung may oras pa..^^

late bloomer

Firstly, I wanna talk big about my four-year-old nephew. His mom informed me that he’s accelerated from preparatory. To what level, I forgot to ask. He just makes us even prouder.

After ignoring Him for almost a month, I still got the answer to my prayer—that He may help me straighten my path. Yes! I neglected attending worship services for almost a month, and I finally came to my senses yesterday and was able to attend pagsamba. And believe it or not, I gave my sincere thanks to Him.

These past days, I noticed the very change in me. I have gained interest in studying; unlike before that I’d even choose not to enter my minor subjects. I am very thankful of this.

Amidst my plaguing headache this day, I went to school though I admit that I couldn’t concentrate on the lectures being delivered. We had a quiz in our major subject, accounting 2 this afternoon but even though I didn’t have my perusal before we’re given the quiz, I was confident that I would pass it. Ugh.. only to find out that everything I answered was wrong. Sa accounting kasi, one error would result to a total mistake. Hay naku!

Konteng update lang muna ngayon. Next time, I’ll post my practice tests/problems on accounting.^^

drama ba?

Yesterday…

Classmate 1: ano ang height mo?

Me: 4’9”

Classmate 2:  4’3” yata eh? (Biro niya)

Me: (smiling) aanhin mu naman ang kantangkaran mu kung wala ka namang “face” at “utak”?

Classmate 1: tumigil ka na!

Ahaha… di ko naman inasahang matatamaan siya.. well, was just stating some sort of truth.:D

I just wanna talk (or maybe speak) about my parents this time. First, I’d like to introduce the family members with few lines about them and using their aliases.

Daddy cool. Intelihente, mathematician, chess wizard and walking dictionary. FEU commerce graduate with major in accounting, CPA. And actually, ayun sa nakalap kong info, top five siya noon sa CPA licensure exam. Sadly, these are the few things I can brag about speaking of him.

Mommy: plain housewife na lagging wala sa bahay. :D

        Elementary undergrad.

Shobis: eldest in the brood of nine. She already has 5 kids of her own. Rebelde. Akala ko dati, akin ang tronong “black sheep of the family” pero papatalo ba naman yan sa katusuhan? Totoo naman.  She fit the title.

Hopper: best brother in the world not because he shoulders my school expenses but because he’s blessed with a pure heart.

Ben: Masipag. Not vocal for his care for his siblings.

Jhong: Quick-tempered.

Wating: a young dad. Tatay ng paborito kong pamangkin.

Kunyang: not yet a registered nurse. Uulitin ko ba? Graduate ng nursing. Hihi

Shang: napaka-caring na ate.

Shao (ako): pinakatopakin sa pamilya.:D

        Matalas ng dila.

Abbo: Bunso namin na kung umasta, parang mas matanda sa’kin.

Yun naman. But NOTE: hindi naman ito sa paninira sa kahit sa sino sa miyembro ng aming pamilya. Be open-minded when you attempt to read this post.

Nag-uusap kasi kami ng ate Kunyang ko kaninang tanghali about dad and mom. Badtrip kasi ako ke mudra. I arrived home yesterday to get my allowance from her only to find out na wala na naman siya sa bahay. Ang plano ko kasi, babalik din ng Bayombong para tapusin ang lahat ng assignments na iniwan ng aming propesor.

Sabi ng ate, bakit daw ganun sila. Mom wants us to treat and respect her as a real mother above everything but my ate pointed out that how are we gonna be the way mom wants us to be if in the first place, she herself fails to be a good example to us? Anjan kang halos araw araw murahin, lagi siyang wala. Ate even came to the point of comparing my mom to the other moms. Na bakit daw sina ganito, tamad naman gaya namin pero di sila minumura ng mama nila? I’d often contradict my sister’s perception of what my parents display saying “ikaw lang naman ang nagsasabi niyan eh.”

Don’t get me wrong, I love my mama and papa so much even they are very far from perfect parents. Minsan, kasi chocolate lover si papa, I’d buy him pasalubong, prepare a cup of coffee for him kasi mahilig din sa kape, o di kaya naman i-prepare ang pagkain niya. Si mama naman, di ko maiparamdam sa gawa ang pagmamahal ko sa kanya pero lagi kong sinasabi na pag nakapagtapos ako, i-spoil’in kosiya.

Halos lahat kaming magkakapatid may sama ng loob sa kanila the fact nakita naman namin ang pagkukulang nila. spiritual man o moral na paalala wala naibigay ang parents namin. Kung tutuusin, hindi naman masasabing mga suwail kaming anak sa kanila dahil kahit malaki ang pagkukulang nila, di namin sila binabastos.

Sino ba naman kasi ng mag-aakalang isang CPA (si papa), dukha? Ganito kasi, nasa mataas na posisyon sa isang kumpanya ang aking tatay noon at the same time, nililigawan siya ng ibang kumpanya sa mas mababang posisyon pero tutumbasan nila o higitan ang sweldo niya sa isang kumpanya. Ma-pride nga daw si papa dahil siguro visible na din nang mga panahong iyon na mababankrupt na yung pinagtatrabahuan niya, ni-reject niya yung mas malaking kumpanya.

Looking at the case positively, I may not be raised by perfect parents, their imperfections serve as my guide of how I will mold myself in order to become a good parent (if lucky to be one) someday.

Isa pa, sila ang gumawa sa’kin kaya ko naman naranasan kung paano mabuhay. Naranasan kong umiyak, masaktan, magmahal, magpaiyak, manakit at lahat lahat kaya dapat akong magpasalamat sa kanila.

Kung hindi dahil sa kanila, di ko makikita kung anong klaseng buhay ang nais kong iparanas sa magiging anak ko (kung nagkakaroon). Siyempre, di ko ipaparamdam at ipaparanas lahat ng karanasang di ko nagustuhan.

Iyon lamang muna sa ngayon.

sa tingin mo?:P

I am just stuck with the story we viewed this morning as part of our general psychology subject lecture.

It was a real story that displayed how young and juvenile youths were deprived of their rights as children--of their right to live their lives as real kids--to have fun and to pursue education.

I thought I can consider myself as one of the poorest citizens of this country but having watched such a story made me realize how far lucky I am compared to them. I admit, I really see life so tough and hard and challenging that sometimes, I would think of giving up instead of going on. It seems that life really goes unfair. Why is it that some could easily get anything they wish of having and do what they wish of doing and yet, here I am, one of those unfortunate for not having this kind of privilege. Somehow, I am thankful to have this realization that I am just being unreasonable in my way of thinking. So what, if I am not showered with earthly possessions? Like the lads who worked hard in the movie just to get going amidst the difficult toil they were into, life's uncertainties shouldn't stop me from dreaming that one day, I can attain the life I aim for.
For the time being, I may find it hard to ease away the pangs of envy I feel whenever I see my high school batch-mates who are already through with the hardships a college life brings about, I should not let it bring me down.
Back to the film we watched. There were boys and girls alike ranging 13 to 15 years old who, if not personally chosen to engage in a sort of farm works, were forced by their parents to leave school and go with them to find money meager to cover the debt of the family.
It may be a pitiful reality of my existence though, I admit that I can't recall a moment where either of my mom or dad taught me how to do house chores, or how to be courteous. I grew up in my own ways, of course with the help of environmental causes. When I was still an innocent kid, I would just do whatever I thought I could then when a point came that my parents would notice I got in the wrong track then time for them to rebuke me but the sad part was that I could not grasp why they say or do this or that. Can you imagine? It resulted to unmotivated me. Yes, the unmotivated me. The point in relation to the youths in the film is that how come I am weak-spirited compared to them who were raised poorly yet, they could still manage to portray a happy life? Poorly in the sense that they hardly enter school, they ate lesser than enough and worst, they themselves worked for their own when in fact, they should just enjoy being kids as how exactly kids of their age live.
On the other hand, it simply proves how poor Filipinos can be. I just do not know who worth the blame for the population of poor Filipino citizens. The government or the parents themselves?

happy birthday?

It may seem like another ordinary day of my life though it's my day-- i just turned 21.

Early this morning at around 8, a warm smile of my sister greeted me, though not a word came out from her mouth, i knew and i sensed from her warm smile, she wanted to greet me happy birthday. All I had in mind upon getting up from bed was that nothing's special, nothing to celebrate and no need to celebrate. Well, I really planned not to prepare foods for celebration, all I wanted to do weeks earlier is to have fun all by myself but even that simple idea I've got to come up with had been cancelled. It almost left me in tears actually but I didn't want to look stupid just because of small disappointments!

What I couldn't almost accept was that none of my house-mates bothered to greet me as though they were saying "it's-her-birthday-and-so-what"! Then after a while, my phone rang and lot of greetings from friends received. Next was a phone call from my best friend Joy which is the most special blessing for me this day.

i miss here..:)

Ayie!!! I miss everything here in the cyber world!!! It has been a month since my last entry huh..and i really miss everything here.i am kinda' unfortunate now for not having much time to update my social networking accounts including blog..wala kasing pang-internet.. poor girl!

well, i have very much in mind now but unluckily (again!), i can't stay long in front of this computer unit i rented for 30 minutes. i actually just dropped by here in a computer cafe to check facebook and yahoo messages and notifications.

guys, i miss reading your entries! hay..:(

take care..i hope makabisita ako sa inyo inyong mga site next time na mag-l0og in aku..=)

Magbago ka na kasi..

I don't have much to say, and neither do i have something significant in mind right now.
Tomorrow will be the first day of final examination and yet, I haven't began going through my notes as if the lessons are all fresh in my mind. In fact, it's almost right to say that nothing retains in my memory. I dunno what I have to go through first before learning to prioritize my studies. I admit, giving my best never crossed my mind throughout the whole school year. My friend Charly always reminded me but I was such a deaf. I didn't give importance to any of his advices, I still went on with my insignificant stuffs and nonsense routine -- putting unnecessary things first before education. I only thought of getting passing grades instead of high ones. And again, I am rueful about my performance for the whole school year. Imagine, my brother and my parents as well expect much from me but I failed them. If only I did my best, I would have met their expectations. Hay! I feel like I am the worst creation to be deplored in the whole universe. Grr.. Failing in some of my subjects I think would mean losing their trust in me. REPENTANCE ALWAYS COMES LAST!!!!

Advice of a friend is to admit in front of my family all my misdeeds and besides, it's not too late for me to change said he. But you know guys, I think I can't do it. One reason is that, they might upbraid me which is the least thing I would wish to happen.

I am not letting myself learn, I know. I feel like a waste, such a waste!:(

 

at least, i learned

These past weeks have been so tough for me. Lots of angst in life—in education and social as well—can’t say that I have moved on from my emotional stress. For the time being though, I am hopeful that at last, I had made up my mind and trust myself that it’s a decision for my own good. Spectacular approach of life for these past weeks should be ended.
It’s for me anyway. I know me myself make my own life and put it in peril. I don’t usually cry over matters not concerning family issues, but at this point of my life, while I can still clearly reflect on this “F” issue, I feel like crying my heart out. Somehow, I am thankful that not even a single drop comes out. I really cannot believe that I had to encounter this most terrible slip before learning when in fact, I have went through some of its kind back in 2007. Although, I inferior myself now just because of this slip up, I must accept what has been done and learn from it. Looking at the bright side, I must let it entail maturity in my individuality in collective aspect of life. And of course, I should not make it again. Don’t commit a mistake twice, as they put it.
I should thank Him for this wake up call for if it didn’t happen I haven’t yet seen what I have been neglecting. I admit that my relationship to Him have been cold for more than a month now. But has He ever forgotten and forsaken me despite those misdeeds I cannot give up? No. there had been many reminders from Him I just failed to recognize. And when this “F” issue occurred because of my recklessness, He still held me tight and reminded me that no matter what bitterness in this life comes along, He is the one who stays with us. If not because of Him, I might have gone through worse circumstance.


Wanna know what happened?
I got too interested with a man I met back in 2009 in Santiago. He introduced himself as Mr. “V”. Well, he really is a wow. A cum laude graduate of UST, CPA by profession and all that things an ordinary girl like me would go for—except that he is not the handsome face we girls usually look on first. At least, he is neat.


It has been more than a year since then and we never got out of touch. We chatted. Talked over the phone. Chatted. It was a routine. Until such one Wednesday morning, while I was preparing for my warm bath, my cellphone rang and a call from a new unregistered number appeared on screen. I was so curious who it was. A woman who was looking for a board mate spoke from the other line but the name she said doesn’t ring a bell so I said she was calling a wrong number. Out of the blue, she started cursing me. I had no idea of what she was saying. Then when she said, “Nagtext ka sa asawa ko kaninang 4am.” Since I ain’t the kitikitext type, I recalled the few saved numbers on my phone. And boom! I got it. My one and only chatmate who I would naturally suspect in this case for some reasons. Maybe you wonder why I sent message that early this day. I couldn’t find way to bring myself to sleep because of the noise but more of the nuisance this guy I love caused me, I took a quaff but it had no effect.
Perhaps, it’s from the liquor, I couldn’t get a point to respond on the woman’s detestable lines. Instead, I let her say all that shits as an initial reaction of a suspecting wife. And finally, “At least ate, ngayon alam mo na. kung gusto mu tulungan kitang huliin siya sa kalokohan niya……” I lengthily told her. I was able to calm her. Then in just a few minutes of conversation, the atmosphere turned out to be friendly.
I met her in Ilagan, we exchanged stories, we visited her brother’s wife, and I got along well with her “spokening dollar” son. We were like old time friends in our first meeting. I was worn-down from consecutive short travels and deprivation of sleep by then but it was okay as long as I helped the woman.

Badtrip! sayang!:)

Nakakainis lang ng sobra-sobra. May isang lalake kasi na "ex" ko daw pero hindi naman, pa-comment comment sa facebook status ko, sobra sobrang nakakaasar lang talaga. As in, sirang-sira araw ko kahapon at ngayon dahil sa mga papansin niyang comment. Hay! Yun talaga ang nakakainis sa mga taong barbaric eh. UU. Barbaric talaga na masahol pa tala sa taong kalye na walang pinag-aralan o di alam gamitin ang pinag-aralan. Parang di tinuruan ng moral lesson ng kung sinumang pwede magturo pero alanagan namang ako ang magturo eh mas matranda siya sa'ken. Grr.. Sarap magmura, andito lang sa harap ko yun, kanina ko pa pinagmumura. Masahol pa sa babaeng nagpapapansin sa lalakeng kinahuhumalingan. Haha. Exaggerated. Pero ganun kasi ang impact sa'kin ng ginagawa niya, wala naman akong balak magpapansin sa kanya, wala akong balak pakialaman ang buhay niya pero siya tong nang-aasar na para bang hindi aware na nkakaburaot na siya.. Hindi yata marunong makiramdam. Anu ba kasiang tamang panawag sa ganung klase ng tao?? Whew! Ako naman, sa sobrang badtrip, dito ko na sa blog naisipang ibuhos ang pagkaasar. Kung yaka ko lang siguro ipa-salvage yun, di talaga ako magdadalawang isip gawin. Nakakairita masyado eh. Isa siyang halimaw, unggoy, urangutan, ape. At kung anu ano pang kaparehong mukha! Di din obvious kung ganu ako naasar nu?

__________________________________________________________________

For an update, I have decided to cut my communication to the man I just met last Sunday for I think, I am not into the game he wants. Ayun! Guys nature, you know it men out there. I am dead interested with him pero ayun nga, ayoko ng ganun. I can't give him what he wants. Naintindihan ko namang ganun ang gusto niya kaya di ko inaway na alam kong gagawin ng ibang babae kung ganung pagtrato ang ipapakita sa kanila ng lalake. Ang saklap nga lang na siya na mismo ang angsabing inosenteng inosente ang dating ko. Tipong ilang beses pa tinanong kung nagka-boyfriend na ba talaga ako. Sa itsura siguro, mayuming suplada. Pero ganun pa rin, he still wanted to go on for the pleasure he is looking for. Sorry siya, I really won't give in for such affair. Saklap din talaga ng mundong ito, punung-puno ng kalalakihang ganun ang pag-uugali. Masyado matakaw sa makalamang pangangailangan. Tama naman diba? Maraming ganoon. Feeling ko nga may kulang sa mga taong ganun. Malamang, kulang sa pagkaing espirituwal pero wis ko feel mangaral dito sa blog. Ang masasabi ko, we all have our own unique ways of learning at ako, natuto namang sa bagay na to. Natuto akong umiwas ng lalakeng "iba" ang hinahangad sa'kin. Sayang nga lang, pasadong pasado talaga siya sa taste ko – five to ten years ahead sa'kin, edukado, as much as possible, may stable job na, at yun nga siya. Bakit ko ba naman kasi patatagalin ang" friendship" ko sa mga taong kagaya niya? Hindi ba pagsasayang ng oras yun? Buti pa 'tong blog, kahit di masagot ang marami kong katanugan, natutulungan akong pagaanin ang loob ko.

Tanungan

Well, for an update, I met up with a chat-mate yesterday.
Err...And honestly, I partly admire him and partly cannot appreciate...for many reasons.
One thing is for sure, he is indeed a very good catch...but though I feel like talking about him for now, I prefer not to take anything about him seriously. (kuha niyo na siguro kung bakit).
    ___________________________________________________

Sinagot ko na lang tong mga tanong na di naman intriguing, tinag kasi ako ni ate lolavie.

1. What is your idea of perfect happiness?
*being contented of what we can have and having no worries for anything..:)
2. What is your greatest fear?
*ghost, although i never experienced seeing one..haha
3. What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
*being vulnerable when it comes to relationship with opposite sex and being easily influenced..
4. What is the trait you most deplore in others?
*their insecurity towards others
5. What is your greatest extravagance?
*sa ngayon? pants..pero konte pa lang naman nabibili ko..
6. What do you consider as the most overrated virtue?
*fear of God (hihi)..gaya gaya ke ate lolavie
7. On what occasion do you lie?
*birthday. wahaha!!! fibbing..
       ....siguro kung ramdam kong nagsisinugaling din kausap ko..:)
8. What do you most dislike about your appearance?
*height and scars
9. Which living person do you most despise?
*mga insecure at tsismosa! grr.. nakakaawa lang dahil wala silang magawa sa buhay..:))
10. What is the quality you most like in a man?
*intelihente..
11. What is the quality you most like in a woman?
*true to herself
12. Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
*"syet!"
13. What or who is the greatest love of your life?
*siya..wag niyo na alamin pwede?
14. When and where were you happiest?
*wala ako maalala..
15. Which talent would you most like to have?
*singing, dancing, drawing, cooking, lahat lahat eh..haha
16. If you could change something about yourself, what would it be?
*height..kasiiii, di naman sa pagyayabang, "maraming maiinggit kung matangkad ka pa" sabi ng maraming kababaihan..:)
17. What do you consider your greatest achievement?
*meron ba ako nun? haha! siguro, siguro, ang agiging totoong tao ko sa lahat ng pagkakataon..achievement yun men..:))
18. If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what would it be?
*a rich, tall and more mature me..:)
19. Where would you most like to live?
*sa puso ng mahal ko na mahal din ako.. haha! kurni naman..
   ....seriously, sa sarili kong bahay na malayo sa kabihasnan at mga pangit na bagay! haha
20. What is your most treasured possession?
*my eyes, pag-aari ko to..haha
21. What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?
*death of people I love (yan na ding sagot ni ate lolavie)
22. What is your favorite occupation?
*occupation as in????
23. What is your most marked characteristic?
*being candid
24. What do you most value in your friends?
*i value everything about them..and yes, even their flaws for those are the things and reality about them that help me reflect on a certain thing and that help me grow-up..:)
25. Who are your favorite writers?
*john grisham
26. Who is your hero of fiction?
*wala..none
27. Which historical figure do you most identify with?
*kaw, sino?
28. Who are your heroes in real life?
*my brother
29. What are your favorite names?
*renz, pen
30. What is it that you most dislike?
*taong insecure, ang kulit ng mga tanong..
31. What is your greatest regret?
*can't say it here..:C
32. How would you like to die?
*silently.. and painlessly
33. What is your motto?
*"you have your brush and colors, and then in, you go.."


                 __________________________________
sa totoo lang, di ako makapag-isip kung sino ang ita-tag ko..

etong mga to na lang,

Jool

Inkblots

Denise..

have a good day!:)

Random nonsense..:)

My stomach seem to explode! Wee! I dunno why in hell I suddenly got this indisposed but hell sure, I don't feel like going to the CR to release "sama ng loob". Ha ha. It's damn painful. As usual, though this thing isn't usual, I again have too many complaints in my daily living. For this day, waking up too early even when my system has not yet fully rested from yesterday's tiring activities, being exposed to a research work (at this point of my college life?? Duhh!!), and my everyday life's twin which is being so nonsensical in everything I do, to mention some. I really ain't committed in every task I am assigned to work with. My life's twin indeed – walking without motivation, direction – a master and captain without any plan. I really have stopped planning for any thing. Not even for an hour activity. This is so bad.

Back in 2008, when I stayed at my tita's house in Fairview, Quezon City, I had always wished of going back to school and continue pursuing my chosen field. I had always told myself that no matter how hard our life may be, everything will be alright. I had promised myself to study hard as a stepping stone in going to the finish line of my endeavor. I always reminisced what I did in 2007 when I was still studying at Northeastern College – doing accounting stuffs, the debit-credit rule and everything about it which I hardly understood back then, and oh, those things that are still confusing for me up to now. I don't think it depends on how young or old a student for her/him to attain wider comprehension. And neither I would think that experience entails higher understanding in the course. Well, I mean it's kind of my second take of the course now but nothing has changed, after a classroom discussion, i still get to read the topic many times (which I actually neglect to do).

And to be true to myself for the time being, i miss having someone as sweet as Micky but not someone like him who is full of pretensions. I wish for someone who can be true to me. True explains everything i want in a man-woman relationship. i want one who doesn't see his relationship with me as a gamble to be played along safely in order for him to dump me when already finds another. someone who would lovingly build his own dreams with me and everything a girl wishes his man would be like. i want to give emphasis to this last line,

I want one who doesn't think of purely satisfying his carnal desire through me.

Pressure

PRESSURE...

Sobra sobrang nakaka-pressure..
Medyo napawi lang nang pagpasok ko sa gate, may pagkahaba-habang sinambit ang giwardiya pero and naintindihan ko lang, "good afternoon" na siyang pinakahuling sinabi niya. Haha! Wala lang. Of all the guards, siya ang unang bumati sa'kin nun.

Pero marami pa talaga akong gagawin.. Over ako sa pagmamadaling kumain kanina para makapag-log in dito sa Apo Pilo internet library. Hayun nga lang at naisipan ko pa talagang isingit mag-blog. To lessen the worries rushing in my system.

At eto pa, nakakaasar nga naman talaga. Parang patapon na section ang klase namin ng Accounting. Akalain mo, twice nang napalitan ang propesor namin. Meaning, pangatlo na yung ngayon. Problema nga naman. Parehong first time sa teaching field and dalawang humawak sa'min -- the previous and the current ones. Hopeful pa man din kami ng mga kaklase ko na bumalik yung unang humawak sa'min na ayon sa mga higher years, siyang pinakamagaling na tagapagturo ng accounting 1. O kahit yung si Dean na sana. haha..

Itatransfer ko pa yung mga journal entry kong nasa columnar notebook ko sa two-column journal. Assignment kasi yun (to be passed ata).

Isisingit ko na lang habang nasa klase ngayong 1 hanggang 5:30.:)

no more pain please

I haven't entered any commitment since I and my first boyfriend broke up three years ago. Nearing four years actually – just five months from now. Meaning to say, I ain't that thirsty of love, except the fact that I had some flings and the last one was nine months earlier.

I just feel like talking about love this time. Guess it. Yep! I am in love or perhaps, I believe I am. And take note, the guy involve has this instinct.

My friends do not believe I could stay single that long. But how can I trust myself to have one anyway if men themselves already gave me reasons to play safe instead? It's a lie though if I am going to say I don't want one. I admit, been waiting for the one. And here I go again. I had this best guy friend once. Best guy friend I say for I returned the title he used to call me. I really don't think it was meant more than an endearment albeit he insisted I really was his closest and best friend. We became an item for less than a day. The night we took our friendship to this level, I told him to prove he's changed, that he no longer thought of taking advantage of me, that he would not stir and confound my feelings to get what he wanted – guys nature and you know what I am saying boy – so we could take it seriously and longer. Not to my disappointment somehow for I wished to rid myself of the possible harm, the next day, he decided that we would be better off to remain friends. Of course, no doubt for that. Besides, we acted like more than friends even before he forced me to admit what I really felt for him, when we were still starting our sweet extraordinary affair, we put in our minds the word "friends" and we were no more than that.

He could kiss me and I would gladly welcome it. We would snuggle when we slept together. We would eat in a plate, one fork and spoon, one glass. He would say his concern before we'd apart. He gave me chocolates (and I still keep the wrappers), but not as gifts, he shared me his ferrero rochers and hersheys. He entertained me pretty well whenever I visited him. Well, those natural acts of lovers but we were really just friends. Another sign that we couldn't be lovers was that he never visited me at home.

I remember the day I first laid my eyes on him. He was the first to recognize me then he approached me. And this Jay guy who bridged me to him, introduced us to each other. He was in red t-shirt, matched with faded pants that really suited his aura. Fair-skinned, slightly chubby, dying eyes. And my eyes diverted to his feet. It was a wow! Nice shape of feet and clean toenails which mostly attract me. Almost perfect....to my taste. He's five feet four inches. If he were tall, then a man I surely courted. Just fibbing!

Then as months passed, our friendship went deeper. Until we entrusted our secrets to each other. We even endowed each other the right to become jealous. Being a smart ass I was, I never intended to show him any sign of jealousy. And him, being the sweetest creation I ever experienced of having, would turn quiet and all the signs whenever I started talking about different guys; which was one of the things I loved about him. He would sneak a kiss on my nape or my cheeks whenever he was certain it could make me smile.

A bitter reality to accept was that he has fallen for someone. Someone he chose over me. And all the sweetness deteriorated. The friendship ruined. All the promises left broken.

Too many memories of him but it's all I can manage to share with you guys.

One point of sharing this one is that I believe he's my real first love. The one who felt what I felt. The one I fell for because of how far our friendship went and how long I have known him.

And for my current predicament, another him just knocked at my door. I am still unwilling to accept anyone in. and I really try hard not to entertain my feelings for him.

I want him, I like him, and he says, he has had this instinct that I feel love for him. I don't want any more pain. Too stupid I am to commit another mistake.

How can I shield my vulnerability?

emote

"In order to grow up, I have to let myself learn." I have always thought. For as far as I have observed, it's really our eagerness to gain maturity that matters. If only we choose to live with the right track, we'll have the life we aspire for. That is if we can muster enough courage and determination along with "doing". We should always be willing to take risks, make our hands dirty and suffer a little bit – the essence of living.

See? I'm not only into making fun, I also know lessons from my experiences. Yes! After such downfall or tests, I can always be able to get its moral lesson. But how come that I cannot make it into practice?

To finish a degree and have my diploma is what I have learned from being away in school for three years. Yes! It's then when I realized my topmost wants in life – I want to have a place in this ever-changing world. After five years of struggling in education, after a tough and thorough learning process, I wanna make my parents proud of me and if that happens, it'll be my turn to pay back all the efforts, sacrifices and sweats they had let come out and continually doing for me.

I know I ain't a good daughter but I love them. And though I can't show them in any way, I feel love for them. Although I have not told them the words I love you, my dreams are formed which I wanna present them in the long run. But darn! This is me. I always take things easily. I take my studies too easily. I hate sitting in a corner and read several chapters of educational books just to gain knowledge. I hate memorization! I like application much compared to it. And damn! Memorization has been inevitable since primary level of school. I simply avoid it and rely on my "stocked knowledge" about a certain subject. Why would I spoil time with such things I hate of doing? Mind you, I have thought of it million times and the answer? IT'S NOT ALWAYS WHAT I WANT IS WHAT I'VE GOT. I cannot avoid those college stuffs and I cannot choose my own ways of passing tertiary level. Be damned! I really can do just nothing.

Well, I have said so much. Ha-ha!

I always get the lowest score in my Philosophy 18 subject. As expected anyway for I don't give a damn in reading and memorizing the whole bible. But no way I'll let it fail in the finals. Even in my other subjects, I attend my classes but do not comply with the expectations of our professors as "block A" class – if you see our class, you'll observe my classmates reviewing every lessons we have tackled in the previous meetings, that's it!

How can really I force myself to become a wide-reader? There must be missing.:(

I feel undeserving of all the supports from my brother who shoulders my educational finances.

Ganun talaga eh. Mula't mula pa, tamad na ako mag-aral. At di naman sa pagyayabang. Kahit tamad ako mag-aral, di ako bumabagsak, yun ang importante sa'ken. Kaso ngayong kolehiyo na 'ko, my grading cut-off. 82 para sa minor subjects and 84 for the major ones. At di naman pwedeng ganun ganun lang pag sa major kasi kumplikado at mahirap din talagang intindihin. Hayun! At ang isa pa, they expect me to be in top of the class eh bob-ang naman ako. Di ako gaya ng mga kapatid kong matalino. Iniisp tuloy ng iba, mga kaibigan ko, ikinukumpara ko ang sarili ko, sa mga kapatid ko. Of course I don't! Matatalino sila at proud ako. Ang problema, they seem to expect that I'll trancend in any field of learning – gaya nila! Gaya nila. Pero yun nga ang totoo, hindi ako matalino gaya nila. Hay! Yun naman eh...

eto pa, ang galing ko din mag-pretend. Aaminin ko na ngayon, at dito pa. Hindi naman totoong inspired ako. Di totoong nakahanap ako ng motivation through THEM.

Alam ko, may makaka-relate din sa mga sinabi at sinasabi ko. Eto talaga ang mahirap eh. Mula't mula pa, IYON ang kulang, alam ko. Mula't mula pa, IYON ang hinahangad ko. Kaya nga iyakin ako pagdating sa kanila eh. Pero ganu man ako kamanhid, mas amnhid pala sila. Sila lang naman ang kailangan ko. :((

How to avoid temptation

I dunno why I seem so mean and moody since yesterday. I would display an irritated look whenever someone asks me simple questions like, "May tao ba dito?", "Ano yan Ate Pen?", "Bakit 'yan?" etc. Those nonsense I thought! Just like a while back. There was this board-mate's visitor who wanted to use the CR and kept on asking me who was inside. Somehow, I could response nicely. But I said over my shoulder, "Bakit di mo na lang bantayan para malaman mo?" with curled brows!


          _________________________________

Yesterday, I went over a friend's boarding house for film-viewing -- I, Charlie and his girlfriend, Hazel watched Indian movie "Three Idiots". All I can say about the movie is that it is stress-relieving. Stress really went away as we watched it. :)

   ___________________________________________

Hapon...

Axer went to the market and arrived at boarding house with a bag of one kilo milk fish and petchay. (Wow! Sinigang. Pero bakit bangus? Ayoko niyan! Matinik.)
While he was in the kitchen cooking the dish, Charlie prepared the rice, I was doing my stuff in the living room (still watching the Three Idiots).

Ayun!!! Maya-maya pa. Kainan na.

Ako naman na nagsabing ayaw ng sinigang na bangus o kahit anung luto ng matinik na bangus, pumunta pa rin. Siyempre, para makalibre ng pera at pagod.:))
Naabutan namin ni charlie ang petchay na nakalimutan ata ihalo ni axer. Ako naman, "Baliw! Luto na di mo pa nilagay? Ihalo mo na Charlie, pwede pa yan."
Pagbukas ni charlie ng casserole, ayun! Paksiw ang laman. Papalusot pa ang Axer na yun. "Tikman mo. Masarap ang luto ko. Buong buhay mo, ngayon ka lang makakatikim niyan! ang sabi sa'kin.
Okay na. Handa na kaming kumain.
Pagbukas ng kalderong malaki. "Hala! Andami niyo namang sinaing." kako. Dami kasi. Kung sa bahay, pang-pito o walong tao. May mga lalake pang kakain.


Axer: Si Charlie nagluto ng kanin.

Ako: Mauubos niyo ba yan?

Charlie: Eh di hanggang bukas na.

Okay na. Kain na. Apat kami dapat. Kaso di sumabay yung isang senglot na.

Sa hapag naman. Masaya at maingay kaming kumain. Kahit pa penglaw si Axer dahil isinabay ang pagtungga ng serbesa (hindi naman talaga sorbetes. Naalala ko kasi nung bata ako, napagpapalit ko ang dalawang term na to) at pagluto.

Kung anu anong mga bagay ang naalala ng mga kasama ko. Anjan, itanong si Axer kung kumusta yung best guy prend ko. Minsan kasi, nung first sem pa, niyaya ko sila ni Charlie mag-bar para lang makilala ko ang girlfriend ni Micky na serbidora sa bar.

Sagot ko:

"Naka-move on na ako. Matagal na yun. Siya mismo nagtulak sa'kin papalayo kaya why insist myself? (tama naman diba?)


Tapos na ang dinner.

  __________________________________


Sa boarding ko..

Sabi ng isang confidant. "Andaming temptation. Paano ko iiwasan?"

Sagot ko, bilang counselor sa kaibigan ko... aaminin kong wala akong maisip sa oras na yun..

"Pag-iisipan ko muna."

Pero di ba, it's all up to the person naman kung ano ang gusto niyang mangyari. He has the knowledge to know what is right and wrong. Nasa kanya na din kung ano ang sinasabi ng konsensya niya. It's whether he can stand hurting his girl and lose her and feel free to entertain the pleasure or resist the temptation and do what he knows is right for I know alam niyang dapat at kung panu umiwas.

pasagot naman..:)

Hope is gone.:(

Err. I don't have much to say. It's just that I really really wish, our instructor will be replaced soon. Be replaced with someone who has a motivating strategy in teaching, whose field is teaching and who suits teaching accounting 1.

We just had our departmental examination this day. As usual, I concentrated more on the processes of accounting than in the theories -- I browsed my book and went back to the first step of accounting cycle through post-closing trial balance, that's it! Simply because I love application more than memorization.

I can't think of any way to cool down myself now for in the examination, we were given a merchandising business problem which I am not fully oriented into. I and my classmates I guess, are used only to solving servicing business problems. Get my point? That's where our current instructor focused during the midterms.

I am so worried about the outcome of my performance.

Who's to be blamed? Not any of them, whoever they are. But you know guys, it's hard to learn this way -- unmotivated, trying hard to encourage myself. I do need some encouragement too, right? But even in their simplest ways, they really don't give a damn. I know some of you know who I refer to. 

And anyway, I was wrong in my adjusting entries in the situation I included on my previous post. The correct entries are:

Interest Receivable for debit
Interest Income for credit.. 


That is because there is an original entry of :

(DR) Notes Receivable
(CR) Service Income..


*This correction is for the sake of those who understand this part.

Debate

It's my vacant time again. Hay! Katatapos lang ng history. We had a group debate and the topic debated upon was, "Would Philippines be better off if it became a state of US?" Err. Our instructor congratulated everyone in the class for the job well done. We all showed effort and it was beyond his expectation that our class would do well in any group activity -- debate, talk-show, role-play etc. BUT I admit that I am not qualified as a debater. Not even in an informal daily chats with friends. Well, I just mentioned about it for I noticed that the con party ignored all the concrete proofs that distance would not matter for US to manage the country (Philippines) if it happened to be permanently colonized by the former. Yun lang.:)

    ________________________________________________

Another debate...

Then when I was on my way here at Apo Pilo with a classmate, I crossed path with my former classmate Moises. He asked help for the problem given to them in Accounting, and showed me the situation:

The company received 60-day note, 12 percent interest, 60000 pesos, from a customer for the service rendered on December 11. (Something to that effect).

In cases like this, my knowledge about a certain subject matter would easily divert but not in this point for my answer was:

Debit, Notes Receivable

           Interest Receivable

Credit, Accrued Income... Clue is from the bold term.

contradicted by my companion:

Debit, Accrued Income

Credit, Interest Payable... she said.

For as long as I can recall, it is under accrual basis of accounting. She should prove me wrong.

So there!

I hope I can blog about our adventurous encounter in the Mountain of Hope last Saturday and in Bangan Hill for the this coming Saturday. It was my very first time to climb a steep mountain and I am so glad I managed my easy "fatiguebility." It was so much fun, adventure and a thing worth looking back.:)

a MUST

I still am the old kolehiyala I used to be back in 2007. Feeling proud even I know myself that I have none to brag about. So confident for the coming midterm examinations as if I have no "special exam" for prelims in my Management subject. ha-ha! LIFE IS TOO SHORT TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY as they say. Right? Right!


Time goes so fast, no? Hay! I just finished my take home seat-work in my major subject Accounting 1. Yay for me! I admit that I envisage a failing grade, though. It's our (me and my classmates) very predicament to fully understand the lessons our instructor delivers, and no! She doesn't usually delivers a lecture for what she teaches us is to rely on ourselves -- self-study -- we read the book at home, and when her time for us comes, we'll ask her the topics we cannot grasp in the subjects we read. Isn't it nice of her? Whew! I'm so fed up of this routine. Well, wrong again! I am not used to reading educational books. I'd rather get a novel to kill time. Lackadaisical I am. To be a wide reader is one of the major requirements in my chosen endeavor, but how can I teach myself to do what I don't like to engage in? Haha! Then drop out, right? The best solution to rid the tiring routines of a college student. See? I really know. But I have dreams too. :(
Whether I like it or not, I MUST do what is MUST! hehe.


Last class for today, 5:30 to 7:00, Accounting 1. It's all for now. :)

Kung anu ano lang

Wee!!! It's supposed to be a rest day for I have a half-day class only during Wednesday but have many works to do -- school stuffs and personal stuffs alike. Hay! Our Philosophy instructor is out (again) but left us library research to do. Since we aren't allowed at electronic library right now, we preferred to do our respective personal things and I chose to check my yahoo and boom! My honey replied on my message I sent him the other day. Well, I should be at my boarding house by now, taking a rest for few minutes, have my lunch after and then do my laundry but it can wait, right? He he.

Been thinking of blogging about the award I received last Monday to keep a memory but couldn't find time and now, I thank our instructor for being absent.:)

It wasn't really an award, just a fun inside the class after the role play in our Biology subject. Hmm.. We played the Krebs cycle. Can't say much about our performance but I'm telling you, every performer had a share of making the class loud and boisterous as if there were no classes going on in the classrooms adjacent to our room. After each group had performed, our professor asked for nominations for best actor and actress. Then, there was this Ehman (I think he has the looks) guy behind me. Dunno what he had in mind -- he campaigned for me, really pronouncing my name in an attention grabber tone of voice. And I, being serious at the time and couldn't find a way to ride on in his joke, hid my face. "Shit! What a shame!" I thought. After awhile, nomination was over. Putting my palms on my both ears in order not to hear my classmates' noise, I still couldn't escape the shame rushing in my system when our professor announced my name as the best actress. Ha-ha!

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What a darned innate laziness! Yes, I do attend my classes everyday except for my absences due to personal reason, at least a valid one, but I really can't counterattack the laze came with me when I went out of my mom's womb. ha ha!

Three years ago, I had my life planned out. Although I was easily influenced, I didn't blame my companions for what I turned into. I had vices -- I drunk and smoked -- had many "barkadas" whom I was usually with when I got out of the way to school. Mind you, I planned all the things I would need in the future. I made sure that i wouldn't be a college drop out even if I was in that disposition. I told myself, I would graduate on time and that would be by 2011 supposedly. I would work for few years after passing the board exam. I would help my family. And, and, and.... I feel like crying now.. haha!!:)).. At the age of 24, after working for two or three years, I wished to be married -- year 2014 sana. Too young for me to think of by then but that's what I wanted to happen. Unfortunately, things can't go with the way I had expected it to be. And you know, it's hard for me to adjust.