Last week, I was just so problematic and down—yes, so down and depressed—for I thought I would be asked to leave school again. Oh! Not again. I hate the life I had left. I hated the life of bystander and I will never be one anymore. That's a promise.
Well, I feel so great and blessed and prized and prioritized right now. My brother arrived home from Cavite yesterday. We had serious discussion together with our two other siblings. Then he said his decision. I will continue my studies but my sister have to leave hers. I could feel my sister's bitter acceptance of our brother's decision but somehow, it'd pass just like what I had felt three years ago—I even cried out loud (Good thing is that it's not yet the final choice, maybe he will change his mind). You know the feeling of being prioritized? I feel it. And I love this feeling. Being one of the priorities for now is like an achievement because it means something; it means that I am noticed for my desire to finish a degree.
I want to share what happened a week before final examination in our first semester. Well, it was two weeks before the exam, Ma'am Padre, our English 1a instructor, chose me to join English competition together with three other classmates. It was surprising for me since the subject is one of my weaknesses and lucky I was. I participated in the reading comprehension field. It was the first elimination round and I must say that it was easy as pie but I really don't want to expect that I passed it (we are not yet informed of the result). This fortunate day was a perfect day for me to reflect on my doings and assumed its negative views that I couldn't see or I failed to see rather. In taking my studies during the first semester, I had this thought that real challenge had not yet began and this real challenge I refer to is the accounting subject we had to struggle for to pass it. This very thought urged me to take my studies too easily. It's like the competition I joined. Games, contests, competitions or whatever you want to name it, begin in easy mode, followed by medium and the final round is the difficult mode. Having it realized is helpful on its very own ways to make me transform in any way. I must thank GOD for this.
Easy mode in my chosen endeavor was the first semester. But I think I would possibly fail myself for the slight negligence I spared for my studies. Failing in the easiest mode would be an obstruction for me to continually battling in my race. That was it! It was an invalid guiding principle to push on my pursuit. I am just so fortunate to somehow pass my grades. I should be better next semester where "real challenge" will begin.
Tomorrow, I'll be going to Bayombong to enroll myself.