Tanungan

Well, for an update, I met up with a chat-mate yesterday.
Err...And honestly, I partly admire him and partly cannot appreciate...for many reasons.
One thing is for sure, he is indeed a very good catch...but though I feel like talking about him for now, I prefer not to take anything about him seriously. (kuha niyo na siguro kung bakit).
    ___________________________________________________

Sinagot ko na lang tong mga tanong na di naman intriguing, tinag kasi ako ni ate lolavie.

1. What is your idea of perfect happiness?
*being contented of what we can have and having no worries for anything..:)
2. What is your greatest fear?
*ghost, although i never experienced seeing one..haha
3. What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
*being vulnerable when it comes to relationship with opposite sex and being easily influenced..
4. What is the trait you most deplore in others?
*their insecurity towards others
5. What is your greatest extravagance?
*sa ngayon? pants..pero konte pa lang naman nabibili ko..
6. What do you consider as the most overrated virtue?
*fear of God (hihi)..gaya gaya ke ate lolavie
7. On what occasion do you lie?
*birthday. wahaha!!! fibbing..
       ....siguro kung ramdam kong nagsisinugaling din kausap ko..:)
8. What do you most dislike about your appearance?
*height and scars
9. Which living person do you most despise?
*mga insecure at tsismosa! grr.. nakakaawa lang dahil wala silang magawa sa buhay..:))
10. What is the quality you most like in a man?
*intelihente..
11. What is the quality you most like in a woman?
*true to herself
12. Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
*"syet!"
13. What or who is the greatest love of your life?
*siya..wag niyo na alamin pwede?
14. When and where were you happiest?
*wala ako maalala..
15. Which talent would you most like to have?
*singing, dancing, drawing, cooking, lahat lahat eh..haha
16. If you could change something about yourself, what would it be?
*height..kasiiii, di naman sa pagyayabang, "maraming maiinggit kung matangkad ka pa" sabi ng maraming kababaihan..:)
17. What do you consider your greatest achievement?
*meron ba ako nun? haha! siguro, siguro, ang agiging totoong tao ko sa lahat ng pagkakataon..achievement yun men..:))
18. If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what would it be?
*a rich, tall and more mature me..:)
19. Where would you most like to live?
*sa puso ng mahal ko na mahal din ako.. haha! kurni naman..
   ....seriously, sa sarili kong bahay na malayo sa kabihasnan at mga pangit na bagay! haha
20. What is your most treasured possession?
*my eyes, pag-aari ko to..haha
21. What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?
*death of people I love (yan na ding sagot ni ate lolavie)
22. What is your favorite occupation?
*occupation as in????
23. What is your most marked characteristic?
*being candid
24. What do you most value in your friends?
*i value everything about them..and yes, even their flaws for those are the things and reality about them that help me reflect on a certain thing and that help me grow-up..:)
25. Who are your favorite writers?
*john grisham
26. Who is your hero of fiction?
*wala..none
27. Which historical figure do you most identify with?
*kaw, sino?
28. Who are your heroes in real life?
*my brother
29. What are your favorite names?
*renz, pen
30. What is it that you most dislike?
*taong insecure, ang kulit ng mga tanong..
31. What is your greatest regret?
*can't say it here..:C
32. How would you like to die?
*silently.. and painlessly
33. What is your motto?
*"you have your brush and colors, and then in, you go.."


                 __________________________________
sa totoo lang, di ako makapag-isip kung sino ang ita-tag ko..

etong mga to na lang,

Jool

Inkblots

Denise..

have a good day!:)

Random nonsense..:)

My stomach seem to explode! Wee! I dunno why in hell I suddenly got this indisposed but hell sure, I don't feel like going to the CR to release "sama ng loob". Ha ha. It's damn painful. As usual, though this thing isn't usual, I again have too many complaints in my daily living. For this day, waking up too early even when my system has not yet fully rested from yesterday's tiring activities, being exposed to a research work (at this point of my college life?? Duhh!!), and my everyday life's twin which is being so nonsensical in everything I do, to mention some. I really ain't committed in every task I am assigned to work with. My life's twin indeed – walking without motivation, direction – a master and captain without any plan. I really have stopped planning for any thing. Not even for an hour activity. This is so bad.

Back in 2008, when I stayed at my tita's house in Fairview, Quezon City, I had always wished of going back to school and continue pursuing my chosen field. I had always told myself that no matter how hard our life may be, everything will be alright. I had promised myself to study hard as a stepping stone in going to the finish line of my endeavor. I always reminisced what I did in 2007 when I was still studying at Northeastern College – doing accounting stuffs, the debit-credit rule and everything about it which I hardly understood back then, and oh, those things that are still confusing for me up to now. I don't think it depends on how young or old a student for her/him to attain wider comprehension. And neither I would think that experience entails higher understanding in the course. Well, I mean it's kind of my second take of the course now but nothing has changed, after a classroom discussion, i still get to read the topic many times (which I actually neglect to do).

And to be true to myself for the time being, i miss having someone as sweet as Micky but not someone like him who is full of pretensions. I wish for someone who can be true to me. True explains everything i want in a man-woman relationship. i want one who doesn't see his relationship with me as a gamble to be played along safely in order for him to dump me when already finds another. someone who would lovingly build his own dreams with me and everything a girl wishes his man would be like. i want to give emphasis to this last line,

I want one who doesn't think of purely satisfying his carnal desire through me.

Pressure

PRESSURE...

Sobra sobrang nakaka-pressure..
Medyo napawi lang nang pagpasok ko sa gate, may pagkahaba-habang sinambit ang giwardiya pero and naintindihan ko lang, "good afternoon" na siyang pinakahuling sinabi niya. Haha! Wala lang. Of all the guards, siya ang unang bumati sa'kin nun.

Pero marami pa talaga akong gagawin.. Over ako sa pagmamadaling kumain kanina para makapag-log in dito sa Apo Pilo internet library. Hayun nga lang at naisipan ko pa talagang isingit mag-blog. To lessen the worries rushing in my system.

At eto pa, nakakaasar nga naman talaga. Parang patapon na section ang klase namin ng Accounting. Akalain mo, twice nang napalitan ang propesor namin. Meaning, pangatlo na yung ngayon. Problema nga naman. Parehong first time sa teaching field and dalawang humawak sa'min -- the previous and the current ones. Hopeful pa man din kami ng mga kaklase ko na bumalik yung unang humawak sa'min na ayon sa mga higher years, siyang pinakamagaling na tagapagturo ng accounting 1. O kahit yung si Dean na sana. haha..

Itatransfer ko pa yung mga journal entry kong nasa columnar notebook ko sa two-column journal. Assignment kasi yun (to be passed ata).

Isisingit ko na lang habang nasa klase ngayong 1 hanggang 5:30.:)

no more pain please

I haven't entered any commitment since I and my first boyfriend broke up three years ago. Nearing four years actually – just five months from now. Meaning to say, I ain't that thirsty of love, except the fact that I had some flings and the last one was nine months earlier.

I just feel like talking about love this time. Guess it. Yep! I am in love or perhaps, I believe I am. And take note, the guy involve has this instinct.

My friends do not believe I could stay single that long. But how can I trust myself to have one anyway if men themselves already gave me reasons to play safe instead? It's a lie though if I am going to say I don't want one. I admit, been waiting for the one. And here I go again. I had this best guy friend once. Best guy friend I say for I returned the title he used to call me. I really don't think it was meant more than an endearment albeit he insisted I really was his closest and best friend. We became an item for less than a day. The night we took our friendship to this level, I told him to prove he's changed, that he no longer thought of taking advantage of me, that he would not stir and confound my feelings to get what he wanted – guys nature and you know what I am saying boy – so we could take it seriously and longer. Not to my disappointment somehow for I wished to rid myself of the possible harm, the next day, he decided that we would be better off to remain friends. Of course, no doubt for that. Besides, we acted like more than friends even before he forced me to admit what I really felt for him, when we were still starting our sweet extraordinary affair, we put in our minds the word "friends" and we were no more than that.

He could kiss me and I would gladly welcome it. We would snuggle when we slept together. We would eat in a plate, one fork and spoon, one glass. He would say his concern before we'd apart. He gave me chocolates (and I still keep the wrappers), but not as gifts, he shared me his ferrero rochers and hersheys. He entertained me pretty well whenever I visited him. Well, those natural acts of lovers but we were really just friends. Another sign that we couldn't be lovers was that he never visited me at home.

I remember the day I first laid my eyes on him. He was the first to recognize me then he approached me. And this Jay guy who bridged me to him, introduced us to each other. He was in red t-shirt, matched with faded pants that really suited his aura. Fair-skinned, slightly chubby, dying eyes. And my eyes diverted to his feet. It was a wow! Nice shape of feet and clean toenails which mostly attract me. Almost perfect....to my taste. He's five feet four inches. If he were tall, then a man I surely courted. Just fibbing!

Then as months passed, our friendship went deeper. Until we entrusted our secrets to each other. We even endowed each other the right to become jealous. Being a smart ass I was, I never intended to show him any sign of jealousy. And him, being the sweetest creation I ever experienced of having, would turn quiet and all the signs whenever I started talking about different guys; which was one of the things I loved about him. He would sneak a kiss on my nape or my cheeks whenever he was certain it could make me smile.

A bitter reality to accept was that he has fallen for someone. Someone he chose over me. And all the sweetness deteriorated. The friendship ruined. All the promises left broken.

Too many memories of him but it's all I can manage to share with you guys.

One point of sharing this one is that I believe he's my real first love. The one who felt what I felt. The one I fell for because of how far our friendship went and how long I have known him.

And for my current predicament, another him just knocked at my door. I am still unwilling to accept anyone in. and I really try hard not to entertain my feelings for him.

I want him, I like him, and he says, he has had this instinct that I feel love for him. I don't want any more pain. Too stupid I am to commit another mistake.

How can I shield my vulnerability?

emote

"In order to grow up, I have to let myself learn." I have always thought. For as far as I have observed, it's really our eagerness to gain maturity that matters. If only we choose to live with the right track, we'll have the life we aspire for. That is if we can muster enough courage and determination along with "doing". We should always be willing to take risks, make our hands dirty and suffer a little bit – the essence of living.

See? I'm not only into making fun, I also know lessons from my experiences. Yes! After such downfall or tests, I can always be able to get its moral lesson. But how come that I cannot make it into practice?

To finish a degree and have my diploma is what I have learned from being away in school for three years. Yes! It's then when I realized my topmost wants in life – I want to have a place in this ever-changing world. After five years of struggling in education, after a tough and thorough learning process, I wanna make my parents proud of me and if that happens, it'll be my turn to pay back all the efforts, sacrifices and sweats they had let come out and continually doing for me.

I know I ain't a good daughter but I love them. And though I can't show them in any way, I feel love for them. Although I have not told them the words I love you, my dreams are formed which I wanna present them in the long run. But darn! This is me. I always take things easily. I take my studies too easily. I hate sitting in a corner and read several chapters of educational books just to gain knowledge. I hate memorization! I like application much compared to it. And damn! Memorization has been inevitable since primary level of school. I simply avoid it and rely on my "stocked knowledge" about a certain subject. Why would I spoil time with such things I hate of doing? Mind you, I have thought of it million times and the answer? IT'S NOT ALWAYS WHAT I WANT IS WHAT I'VE GOT. I cannot avoid those college stuffs and I cannot choose my own ways of passing tertiary level. Be damned! I really can do just nothing.

Well, I have said so much. Ha-ha!

I always get the lowest score in my Philosophy 18 subject. As expected anyway for I don't give a damn in reading and memorizing the whole bible. But no way I'll let it fail in the finals. Even in my other subjects, I attend my classes but do not comply with the expectations of our professors as "block A" class – if you see our class, you'll observe my classmates reviewing every lessons we have tackled in the previous meetings, that's it!

How can really I force myself to become a wide-reader? There must be missing.:(

I feel undeserving of all the supports from my brother who shoulders my educational finances.

Ganun talaga eh. Mula't mula pa, tamad na ako mag-aral. At di naman sa pagyayabang. Kahit tamad ako mag-aral, di ako bumabagsak, yun ang importante sa'ken. Kaso ngayong kolehiyo na 'ko, my grading cut-off. 82 para sa minor subjects and 84 for the major ones. At di naman pwedeng ganun ganun lang pag sa major kasi kumplikado at mahirap din talagang intindihin. Hayun! At ang isa pa, they expect me to be in top of the class eh bob-ang naman ako. Di ako gaya ng mga kapatid kong matalino. Iniisp tuloy ng iba, mga kaibigan ko, ikinukumpara ko ang sarili ko, sa mga kapatid ko. Of course I don't! Matatalino sila at proud ako. Ang problema, they seem to expect that I'll trancend in any field of learning – gaya nila! Gaya nila. Pero yun nga ang totoo, hindi ako matalino gaya nila. Hay! Yun naman eh...

eto pa, ang galing ko din mag-pretend. Aaminin ko na ngayon, at dito pa. Hindi naman totoong inspired ako. Di totoong nakahanap ako ng motivation through THEM.

Alam ko, may makaka-relate din sa mga sinabi at sinasabi ko. Eto talaga ang mahirap eh. Mula't mula pa, IYON ang kulang, alam ko. Mula't mula pa, IYON ang hinahangad ko. Kaya nga iyakin ako pagdating sa kanila eh. Pero ganu man ako kamanhid, mas amnhid pala sila. Sila lang naman ang kailangan ko. :((

How to avoid temptation

I dunno why I seem so mean and moody since yesterday. I would display an irritated look whenever someone asks me simple questions like, "May tao ba dito?", "Ano yan Ate Pen?", "Bakit 'yan?" etc. Those nonsense I thought! Just like a while back. There was this board-mate's visitor who wanted to use the CR and kept on asking me who was inside. Somehow, I could response nicely. But I said over my shoulder, "Bakit di mo na lang bantayan para malaman mo?" with curled brows!


          _________________________________

Yesterday, I went over a friend's boarding house for film-viewing -- I, Charlie and his girlfriend, Hazel watched Indian movie "Three Idiots". All I can say about the movie is that it is stress-relieving. Stress really went away as we watched it. :)

   ___________________________________________

Hapon...

Axer went to the market and arrived at boarding house with a bag of one kilo milk fish and petchay. (Wow! Sinigang. Pero bakit bangus? Ayoko niyan! Matinik.)
While he was in the kitchen cooking the dish, Charlie prepared the rice, I was doing my stuff in the living room (still watching the Three Idiots).

Ayun!!! Maya-maya pa. Kainan na.

Ako naman na nagsabing ayaw ng sinigang na bangus o kahit anung luto ng matinik na bangus, pumunta pa rin. Siyempre, para makalibre ng pera at pagod.:))
Naabutan namin ni charlie ang petchay na nakalimutan ata ihalo ni axer. Ako naman, "Baliw! Luto na di mo pa nilagay? Ihalo mo na Charlie, pwede pa yan."
Pagbukas ni charlie ng casserole, ayun! Paksiw ang laman. Papalusot pa ang Axer na yun. "Tikman mo. Masarap ang luto ko. Buong buhay mo, ngayon ka lang makakatikim niyan! ang sabi sa'kin.
Okay na. Handa na kaming kumain.
Pagbukas ng kalderong malaki. "Hala! Andami niyo namang sinaing." kako. Dami kasi. Kung sa bahay, pang-pito o walong tao. May mga lalake pang kakain.


Axer: Si Charlie nagluto ng kanin.

Ako: Mauubos niyo ba yan?

Charlie: Eh di hanggang bukas na.

Okay na. Kain na. Apat kami dapat. Kaso di sumabay yung isang senglot na.

Sa hapag naman. Masaya at maingay kaming kumain. Kahit pa penglaw si Axer dahil isinabay ang pagtungga ng serbesa (hindi naman talaga sorbetes. Naalala ko kasi nung bata ako, napagpapalit ko ang dalawang term na to) at pagluto.

Kung anu anong mga bagay ang naalala ng mga kasama ko. Anjan, itanong si Axer kung kumusta yung best guy prend ko. Minsan kasi, nung first sem pa, niyaya ko sila ni Charlie mag-bar para lang makilala ko ang girlfriend ni Micky na serbidora sa bar.

Sagot ko:

"Naka-move on na ako. Matagal na yun. Siya mismo nagtulak sa'kin papalayo kaya why insist myself? (tama naman diba?)


Tapos na ang dinner.

  __________________________________


Sa boarding ko..

Sabi ng isang confidant. "Andaming temptation. Paano ko iiwasan?"

Sagot ko, bilang counselor sa kaibigan ko... aaminin kong wala akong maisip sa oras na yun..

"Pag-iisipan ko muna."

Pero di ba, it's all up to the person naman kung ano ang gusto niyang mangyari. He has the knowledge to know what is right and wrong. Nasa kanya na din kung ano ang sinasabi ng konsensya niya. It's whether he can stand hurting his girl and lose her and feel free to entertain the pleasure or resist the temptation and do what he knows is right for I know alam niyang dapat at kung panu umiwas.

pasagot naman..:)

Hope is gone.:(

Err. I don't have much to say. It's just that I really really wish, our instructor will be replaced soon. Be replaced with someone who has a motivating strategy in teaching, whose field is teaching and who suits teaching accounting 1.

We just had our departmental examination this day. As usual, I concentrated more on the processes of accounting than in the theories -- I browsed my book and went back to the first step of accounting cycle through post-closing trial balance, that's it! Simply because I love application more than memorization.

I can't think of any way to cool down myself now for in the examination, we were given a merchandising business problem which I am not fully oriented into. I and my classmates I guess, are used only to solving servicing business problems. Get my point? That's where our current instructor focused during the midterms.

I am so worried about the outcome of my performance.

Who's to be blamed? Not any of them, whoever they are. But you know guys, it's hard to learn this way -- unmotivated, trying hard to encourage myself. I do need some encouragement too, right? But even in their simplest ways, they really don't give a damn. I know some of you know who I refer to. 

And anyway, I was wrong in my adjusting entries in the situation I included on my previous post. The correct entries are:

Interest Receivable for debit
Interest Income for credit.. 


That is because there is an original entry of :

(DR) Notes Receivable
(CR) Service Income..


*This correction is for the sake of those who understand this part.

Debate

It's my vacant time again. Hay! Katatapos lang ng history. We had a group debate and the topic debated upon was, "Would Philippines be better off if it became a state of US?" Err. Our instructor congratulated everyone in the class for the job well done. We all showed effort and it was beyond his expectation that our class would do well in any group activity -- debate, talk-show, role-play etc. BUT I admit that I am not qualified as a debater. Not even in an informal daily chats with friends. Well, I just mentioned about it for I noticed that the con party ignored all the concrete proofs that distance would not matter for US to manage the country (Philippines) if it happened to be permanently colonized by the former. Yun lang.:)

    ________________________________________________

Another debate...

Then when I was on my way here at Apo Pilo with a classmate, I crossed path with my former classmate Moises. He asked help for the problem given to them in Accounting, and showed me the situation:

The company received 60-day note, 12 percent interest, 60000 pesos, from a customer for the service rendered on December 11. (Something to that effect).

In cases like this, my knowledge about a certain subject matter would easily divert but not in this point for my answer was:

Debit, Notes Receivable

           Interest Receivable

Credit, Accrued Income... Clue is from the bold term.

contradicted by my companion:

Debit, Accrued Income

Credit, Interest Payable... she said.

For as long as I can recall, it is under accrual basis of accounting. She should prove me wrong.

So there!

I hope I can blog about our adventurous encounter in the Mountain of Hope last Saturday and in Bangan Hill for the this coming Saturday. It was my very first time to climb a steep mountain and I am so glad I managed my easy "fatiguebility." It was so much fun, adventure and a thing worth looking back.:)

a MUST

I still am the old kolehiyala I used to be back in 2007. Feeling proud even I know myself that I have none to brag about. So confident for the coming midterm examinations as if I have no "special exam" for prelims in my Management subject. ha-ha! LIFE IS TOO SHORT TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY as they say. Right? Right!


Time goes so fast, no? Hay! I just finished my take home seat-work in my major subject Accounting 1. Yay for me! I admit that I envisage a failing grade, though. It's our (me and my classmates) very predicament to fully understand the lessons our instructor delivers, and no! She doesn't usually delivers a lecture for what she teaches us is to rely on ourselves -- self-study -- we read the book at home, and when her time for us comes, we'll ask her the topics we cannot grasp in the subjects we read. Isn't it nice of her? Whew! I'm so fed up of this routine. Well, wrong again! I am not used to reading educational books. I'd rather get a novel to kill time. Lackadaisical I am. To be a wide reader is one of the major requirements in my chosen endeavor, but how can I teach myself to do what I don't like to engage in? Haha! Then drop out, right? The best solution to rid the tiring routines of a college student. See? I really know. But I have dreams too. :(
Whether I like it or not, I MUST do what is MUST! hehe.


Last class for today, 5:30 to 7:00, Accounting 1. It's all for now. :)

Kung anu ano lang

Wee!!! It's supposed to be a rest day for I have a half-day class only during Wednesday but have many works to do -- school stuffs and personal stuffs alike. Hay! Our Philosophy instructor is out (again) but left us library research to do. Since we aren't allowed at electronic library right now, we preferred to do our respective personal things and I chose to check my yahoo and boom! My honey replied on my message I sent him the other day. Well, I should be at my boarding house by now, taking a rest for few minutes, have my lunch after and then do my laundry but it can wait, right? He he.

Been thinking of blogging about the award I received last Monday to keep a memory but couldn't find time and now, I thank our instructor for being absent.:)

It wasn't really an award, just a fun inside the class after the role play in our Biology subject. Hmm.. We played the Krebs cycle. Can't say much about our performance but I'm telling you, every performer had a share of making the class loud and boisterous as if there were no classes going on in the classrooms adjacent to our room. After each group had performed, our professor asked for nominations for best actor and actress. Then, there was this Ehman (I think he has the looks) guy behind me. Dunno what he had in mind -- he campaigned for me, really pronouncing my name in an attention grabber tone of voice. And I, being serious at the time and couldn't find a way to ride on in his joke, hid my face. "Shit! What a shame!" I thought. After awhile, nomination was over. Putting my palms on my both ears in order not to hear my classmates' noise, I still couldn't escape the shame rushing in my system when our professor announced my name as the best actress. Ha-ha!

       _________________________________________________

What a darned innate laziness! Yes, I do attend my classes everyday except for my absences due to personal reason, at least a valid one, but I really can't counterattack the laze came with me when I went out of my mom's womb. ha ha!

Three years ago, I had my life planned out. Although I was easily influenced, I didn't blame my companions for what I turned into. I had vices -- I drunk and smoked -- had many "barkadas" whom I was usually with when I got out of the way to school. Mind you, I planned all the things I would need in the future. I made sure that i wouldn't be a college drop out even if I was in that disposition. I told myself, I would graduate on time and that would be by 2011 supposedly. I would work for few years after passing the board exam. I would help my family. And, and, and.... I feel like crying now.. haha!!:)).. At the age of 24, after working for two or three years, I wished to be married -- year 2014 sana. Too young for me to think of by then but that's what I wanted to happen. Unfortunately, things can't go with the way I had expected it to be. And you know, it's hard for me to adjust.