Can this be...?

It's just so nice that finally, I've got someone to share my life stories with...without any reservation.

At first, it was clear to me that we're friends and we're bound to be just friends. In fact, I thank God for giving me a friend in him. I faithfully believe that everything happens for a reason, that we crossed each other's path for God's perfect reason--him, a crying shoulder of mine and him being a listener and an adviser to me submissively. I didn't choose him to be in my life. He came and knocked on my door, I didn't open it for him as well. I don't know and I am not sure if I want to know. The thing I fear most is already here. No matter how many times I remind myself of what is reality, my heart eagerly shouts for his name. This is the part I dread. Whatever the reason why everything happens, I don't dare knowing now.

The hardest part here is that I want to keep my friendship with him but my heart wants more. :3

TANGANGA.. Tanganga.. BUBU pa. :D

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Hello everyone!

It's been half a year since the last time I updated my blog. And to be honest, I missed here. I missed blog-hopping. I miss my favorite blogs. I missed reading comments. I missed every little thing about blogging...even if no one missed me here.

Well, not-so-late HAPPY NEW YEAR greetings to all of you! How are you doing? Surely, everyone of you has come up to necessary changes as 2013 arrived. And I bet, many are working on their "NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION/S". See? Aside from the foods we serve at new year's eve, we Filipinos habitually list down some things we want to improve in ourselves for the coming year.

How was your new year celebration?

I wanna share mine. :)

On the 31st of December 2012, all of us at the Magno residence went to the church for the year-end prayer which we usually do. (I celebrated new year with my relatives in Santa Maria, Pangasinan, btw.) We displayed varieties of round fruits, prepared long noodles, glutinous delicacies and such Filipino customs. They wore their usual pambahay get-ups while I chose striped tops, it signifies prosperity as I was told. :D Before the clock hit 12MN, we huddled together at the dining area and had a prayer first. And next? Chow down the foods served? Nahhhh!!!! Picture picture. :DDD It was fun! We were all boisterous as 2013 crossed the threshold. After we devoured pieces of each eatables at the table, I, together with the kids proceeded to our balikbayans' room for the games while the buklods had their singing session at the living room.

(TO BE EDITED)

Kwentong walang kwenta!

Naa-amaze naman ako sa mga taong magagaling magkwento. Tipong sinasabayan ng gesture at facial expression na with feelings pa bawat katagang sinasambit. Gutsto kong magaya yung ganun kaso talagang di ko kapalaran ang maging story-teller. hehe

Anyway, dahil sa wala akong mai-post (na naman), try ko na lang ikwento ang maghapon ko.

Para sa'kin, ordinaryong araw lang naman ito. Late natulog the night before pero ang aga gumising. Alam niyo na, pag di mo kama, di ka talaga mahihimbing sa tulog. Namamahay ba. Pagkagising niyo sa umaga, ano una niyo naiisip o ginagawa? Naaalala mo ang mahal mo sabay hagilap sa cellphone at itext siya? Hagilap ng alarm clock na gumigising sa'yo? Mga gawaing dapat tapusin? Mga problemang dapat masulosyunan? O may iba pa sa nabanggit ko? Aaminin ko, alam ko namang una sa lahat, unang una maisip ay ang Ama. Pasalamatan Siya dahil himihinga pa tayo ng maluwag at nananatili sa piling niya. Tama naman ako diba? Pero nakakaligtaan kong gawin ang bagay na 'to eh. Ikaw ba?

Kumakain ka ba sa oras ng kainan at nagpapakabusog palagi? Pagkatapos kumain, siyempre may kanya kanya na tayong lakad, di maiiwasang gutumin tayo dahil sa pagod. pagaka nagkaganun, naghahanap ka ba agad ng makakain? Ewan ko ba. Ako kasi, bukod sa di ako kumakain sa tamang oras, nalilipasan pang gutom. Tapos pag nasa mood kumain, sige ng sige. Pagka naubusan ng malalamon, nababadtrip pa. Pang tanga lang eh. Ayun nga't, madaming nakapansin na pumayat ako dahil sa gawi ko. Ang katwiran ko naman, di naman akodinadapuan ng sakit kaya ok na sa'kin ang katawan kong 'to. :D

_______

Ayun! Birthday nga pala ng aking magandang tita Flor netong singko kaya naman may konteng salu-salo kanina pagaktapos ng pagsamba.:)

Pagkatapos ng salu-salo, gumayak na si tita for her trip to Ilocos. Hinatid namin siya ng aking pamangkin sa higway at sumakay na lamang ng taxi papuntang bus terminal pagkat wala naman kaming sariling service.

Habang nasa trike kami ng aking niece, kimumusta niya ang lovelife ko. Siyempre, wala pa naman akong boyfriend kaya sabi ko naghihintay lang ng darating para sa'kin. Ewan ko ba kasi. Dati rati naman, basta pasado physically, papatulan ko ang lalakeng nagpapapansin o nambobola sa'kin.Pero ngayon, unexpected talaga na naging pihikan na ako. Di ko nga alam kung pagiging pihikan 'to o dala ng pagkasabik kong magkaroon naman ng seryosong lovelife. Yun di gaya ng dati na basta basta na lang itatapon ang involvement sa isang tao. Minsan pa nga, umaalis either of the parties without any word of goodbye, tapos na. Lahat naman ng yun ay WALA LANG talaga. Siguro nagsawa na din ako sa paulit ulit na nangyayari. Naniniwala naman kasi ako ang tunay na lalaki, hinihiling sa Ama ang babaeng para sa kanya kaya hihintayin ko na lang na darating yung ganung lalaki.:D

Eto pa ha. Siyempre, ipinagpapauna ko na lang na FLATTERED MUCH lang ako at hindi maka-get over. hehehe. :D

Bakit daw ang seksi ko tignan. Chucks! nemen nemen nemen... Di ko pers taym marinig pero wala lang, i love compliments eh. Although, the same lines ang naririnig basta ba galing sa iba ibang tao dibaa?? Pampalubag loob lang naman. Pansamantalang naaalis sa isip ko na lagi akong napagkakamalang bata kaya tuloy, di man lang ako magka-boyfriend ng matanda sakin ng limang taon mahigit. 

Tapos eto pa sabi ng dalawa kong pamangkin. "Maganda ka tita, hindi ka lang matangkad. (At ayan nga naman ang pruweba!) Dinagdag pang, "ang ganda kaya ng mata mo." Sanay na ako dyan. Yan lagi ko naririnig eh. Biro ko nga, "Sana mata na lang ako 'nu?"

Oh sige, matutulog na muna ako't inaantok na din. Sasusunod na lang uli. Sana may kwenta na ang susunod kong blog entry! :D

Hello everyone! I hope, my readers still visit my page.

For now, I am just trying to make an update. Uhm, well, not really an update. A nonsense post, instead. HEHEH! I have nothing to share eh. Right at this very moment, I'm reading the late Bro. Felix Manalo's history. 

How are you guys?:)

HELLO..=)

Yoohoo!!It's really been a long time since the last time I posted an update. I never meant to abandon my account. It was just that I had nothing to share--even now. I'm just trying to make it active again.


I'm wondering if my readers (my friends) still visit my profile but with or without a reader, I just wanna continue writing my feelings. :)


HELLO everybody! 

Ewan ko.

"Intelligence is NOT the key to success."

Tsk! Again, naka-relate na naman ako sa kwentuhan namin ng aking tita kaninang umaga. Kung anuman iyon, basta walang kinalaman sa UTAK at DISKARTE. Parang naalala ko lang ang pagkukulang ng papa ko sa'kin, sa aming magkakapatid, from financial to moral support. Kung paanong ganyan, iyon yung pagkakaintindi nakalap kong kwento ng karera niya.

Something to this effect:

My dad worked in a company where he was one of the authorities. It so happened that the company came to the brink of bankruptcy. Since he was known to be a good CPA, Landbank tried to court him proposing a lower position but was willing to give him a salary equal or higher than what he got from the other company. He declined the offer. Siguro bilang nagpapahalaga at loyal na empleyado sa kumpanya...

Napakasayang talaga! Kung hindi niya siguro ni-reject yung offer ng Landbank, di kami naghihirap ngayon.

Prayers answered..

hindi ko matantya kung ilang buwan na akong nagtitiis sa pabalik-balik na sakit ng ulo ko, usually, sa hapon at umaga sumasakit. Hindi ko na din matandaan kung kelan pa ako nagkaroon ng blurred vision pag nagbabasa ng libro sa harap ng klase. Alam kong hindi na normal 'to, nabanggit ko na din naman sa parents ko pero wala pa akong pampa-check up sa ngayon. Ganyan kasi talaga pag dukha (di bale, mukhang mayaman aman..HAHA!). I must admit, I am very weak in handling emotional problems and at the same time, I am not vocal with such problems to anyone. And yes! I have n\been told many times that I appear emotionally strong and nothing in my actions would indicate that I am the other way around—vulnerable. But mind you, I am not hiding my vulnerability. I just do not want to talk about my feelings (except when blogging).

The good thing is that, I have recently started actively joining our church' activities and it's enlightening to do so.

If I were to compare my disposition now and before I have come to this realization, I would say “goodbye to my good old self”. I have wished of nothing but to attain peace of mind. Now that He granted my prayers, why leave the right track? I may not be bestowed material possessions, being blessed with spiritual gain, I am confident and optimist that no matter what this life would take me in, He will light my path.

Thanks to the kid who taught me how to prioritize and what to put first in everything I do. He's right. Put God first and do everything that glorifies Him.

Sa sobrang sakit ng ulo ko kagabi, di ko na alam ang gagwin ko at parang walang laman ang utak ko. Ang kaisa-isang naisip ko, magpunta ng kwarto at manalangin. It isn't the first time, effective talaga ang pananalangin. Hindi naman kasi ako yung tipong marunong at di nakakalimot manalangin pero kahit ganun, I still feel the presence of God in my life. And having Him up there should be the greatest thing to be treasured, hindi ang material wealth.

kabanas lang

until now, di ko pa rin makalimutan yung school nurse na 'yon....

I went to the dean of women yesterday to get admission slips for i already have three absences, one in my math class which is scheduled MWF and two in my PE subject scheduled TTh. 

i scribbled "recurring headache" as reason of my absences with my absences dated July 11, 12 and 14; Monday, Tuesday and Thursday, respectively. When Ma'am Mila, the dean of women noticed my reason saying "recurring is what?" and "pabalik-balik Ma'am" i replied. "Did you go to a doctor for check up?" she asked again. "Mam nah. I am not used to." I answered. Well, to make it short. She advised me to see the doctor in our school since consultations in school clinic is included in our tuition fee. Then  she signed my admission slips on the "excused" field.

at the school clinic where i met the school nurse....

me: good morning ma'am.

gave me a questioning stare.

me: Ma'am (Mila) Pataueg told me to go here because of the reason i wrote here (referring to my admission slips).

nurse: recurring headache? umiinom ka ba ng gamot?

me: nah mam... i am not used to taking medicines.

nurse: nagpa-check up ka ba?

me: (shook my head) i am not used to.

*siningit niya pa makipag-usap sa mga kasama niya sa clinic at sinabing, "in fairness, ang bait ni mam mila ha. kung ganitong reason lang di tatanggapin ni sir cantong (the dean of men)."

nurse: i can't give you excuse letter with your admission slips past-dated.

me: maam mila told me to have at least, a check up because she thinks it might be another sickness.

nurse: do you have medical certicate?

me: yes mam, back in 2007.

nurse: nasa'yo?

me: i left it in the school i attended in 2007 mam.

nurse: panu to? (checking my admission slips) absent ka ng 11, 12 at 14 with the same reason. (with a hint of doubt as if it was a lie)

*siningit na naman makipag-usap sa mga kasama niya and told them the same line.

me: it actually happens [almost] everyday mam. especially upon waking up, and in the afternoon.

nurse: have you experienced blurred vision?

me: yes ma'am. sometimes, i can't see what's written on the book when i am reading in front of the class.

nurse: ganito na lang, sa ophthalmologist ka magpunta, kasi sabi mu nga lumalabo ang paningin mo. baka kaya ka nagkakaganyan.

me: sige mam. thank you! (and left)

* sa totoo hindi lang tatlong beses niyang isiningit ang makipag-usap sa mga kasama niya samantalang nandon pa akong kaharap at kausap niya, oras ng trabaho eh. bago pa ako makatayo sa kinauupuan ko, nakipag-usap na naman sa mga kasam niya at inulit ulit lang yung paulit ulit niyang sinabi..muntikan kong sinabihan na “wag mo isiping gawa gawa ko lang yan. Unless it’s simply because you yourself used to do it during your college days.” buti nahabaan ko pa ang pasensya ko.

Bubu din kasi ako. I mistakenly dated one of my admission slips with July 14 instead na July 7.

Recheck...

Masaya lang ako ngayong araw dahil, sapagkat, pagakat….
nagkaroon kami ng quiz sa accounting2 (Accounting for Partnership and Corporation). Bagama’t, kahit…kinakabahan ako noong una sa magiging resulta ng trabaho ko dahil hindi naman kasi tagala ako gaanong nakikinig sa classroom discussion at lalong di nagbabasa o advance study, halos makuha ko lahat ang tamang sagot. Kung masipag nga lang kasi ako mag-recheck ng trabaho ko, malamang nakita ko din ang error ko.
Tungkol sa admission of new partner by investment ang quiz.
I’m sure, there are still some who can relate with accounting matters.


Here’s the problem.


Cosme, Canlas and Cura are partners with profit and loss ratio of 30%, 50% and 20%, respectively. Their capital balances are: Cosme-150000pesos; Canlas-300000pesos; Cura-50000pesos. Corazon is admitted into the partnership by investing 150000pesos.


CASES:
1) 1/5 interest in the partnership with a capital credit equal to his investment.
2) 1/5 interest in the partnership with total agreed capital of 650000pesos.
3) 30% interest in the partnership with total agreed capital of 650000pesos.
4) 15% interest in the partnership with total agreed capital of 750000pesos.
5) 1/5 interest in the partnership , bonus being allowed.


And here are the answers.
1) TAC-75000                                         CCr- 150000
   TCC-65000                                          Ccont-150000
            100000-Asset revaluation                           - 0 –


Other Asets                                        100000
              Cosme, Capital(100000x.30)                    30000
              Canlas, Capital(100000x.50)                    50000
              Cura, Capital(100000x.20)                       20000


Cash                                                   150000
              Corazon, Capital                                       150000


2) TAC-65000                                           CCr- 130000
    TCC-65000                                           Ccont-150000
                                                                            20000-bonus to old partners


Cash                                                   150000
              Corazon, Capital                                       150000


Corazon, Capital                                 20000
               Cosme, Capital(20000x.30)                       6000
               Canlas, Capital(20000x.50)                      10000
               Cura, Capital(20000x.20)                           4000


3) TAC-65000                                              CCr- 195000
    TCC-65000                                              Ccont-150000
                                                                                45000-bonus to Corazon
Cash                                                   150000
               Corazon, Capital                                       150000


Cosme, Capital(45000x.30)                13500
Canlas, Capital(45000x.50)                 22500
Cura, Capital(45000x.20)                     9000
              Corazon, Capital                                          45000








4) TAC-75000                                        CCr- 112000
    TCC-65000                                       Ccont-150000
             15000 -Asset Revaluation                    37500-Bonus to old partners






Other Asets                               100000
               Cosme, Capital(100000x.30)                       30000
               Canlas, Capital(100000x.50)                        50000
               Cura, Capital(100000x.20)                           20000


Cash                                         150000
              Corazon, Capital                                          150000


Corazon, Capital                        37500
               Cosme, Capital(37500x.30)                         11250
               Canlas, Capital(37500x.50)                         18750
               Cura, Capital(37500x.20)                              7500




5) TAC-65000                                              CCr- 130000
    TCC-65000                                              Ccont-150000
                                                                              20000-Bonus to old partners


Cash                                                    150000
              Corazon, Capital                                            150000


Corazon, Capital 20000
               Cosme, Capital(20000x.30)                           6000
               Canlas, Capital(20000x.50)                          10000
               Cura, Capital(20000x.20)                              4000


TAC stands for total agreed capital.
TCC-total contributed capital
CCr-capital credit
CCont-Capital contirbuted


*Sadly, hindi ko nasagot ng tama yung number 5 sa kadahilanang (gaya nung nakaraang linggo) mali ang TAC ko. Di pa ako sure kung yan yung tamang sagot sa case number5.
Kaya ikaw, lagi mong i-recheck sagot mu kung mahaba pa naman ang oras o kung may oras pa..^^

late bloomer

Firstly, I wanna talk big about my four-year-old nephew. His mom informed me that he’s accelerated from preparatory. To what level, I forgot to ask. He just makes us even prouder.

After ignoring Him for almost a month, I still got the answer to my prayer—that He may help me straighten my path. Yes! I neglected attending worship services for almost a month, and I finally came to my senses yesterday and was able to attend pagsamba. And believe it or not, I gave my sincere thanks to Him.

These past days, I noticed the very change in me. I have gained interest in studying; unlike before that I’d even choose not to enter my minor subjects. I am very thankful of this.

Amidst my plaguing headache this day, I went to school though I admit that I couldn’t concentrate on the lectures being delivered. We had a quiz in our major subject, accounting 2 this afternoon but even though I didn’t have my perusal before we’re given the quiz, I was confident that I would pass it. Ugh.. only to find out that everything I answered was wrong. Sa accounting kasi, one error would result to a total mistake. Hay naku!

Konteng update lang muna ngayon. Next time, I’ll post my practice tests/problems on accounting.^^

drama ba?

Yesterday…

Classmate 1: ano ang height mo?

Me: 4’9”

Classmate 2:  4’3” yata eh? (Biro niya)

Me: (smiling) aanhin mu naman ang kantangkaran mu kung wala ka namang “face” at “utak”?

Classmate 1: tumigil ka na!

Ahaha… di ko naman inasahang matatamaan siya.. well, was just stating some sort of truth.:D

I just wanna talk (or maybe speak) about my parents this time. First, I’d like to introduce the family members with few lines about them and using their aliases.

Daddy cool. Intelihente, mathematician, chess wizard and walking dictionary. FEU commerce graduate with major in accounting, CPA. And actually, ayun sa nakalap kong info, top five siya noon sa CPA licensure exam. Sadly, these are the few things I can brag about speaking of him.

Mommy: plain housewife na lagging wala sa bahay. :D

        Elementary undergrad.

Shobis: eldest in the brood of nine. She already has 5 kids of her own. Rebelde. Akala ko dati, akin ang tronong “black sheep of the family” pero papatalo ba naman yan sa katusuhan? Totoo naman.  She fit the title.

Hopper: best brother in the world not because he shoulders my school expenses but because he’s blessed with a pure heart.

Ben: Masipag. Not vocal for his care for his siblings.

Jhong: Quick-tempered.

Wating: a young dad. Tatay ng paborito kong pamangkin.

Kunyang: not yet a registered nurse. Uulitin ko ba? Graduate ng nursing. Hihi

Shang: napaka-caring na ate.

Shao (ako): pinakatopakin sa pamilya.:D

        Matalas ng dila.

Abbo: Bunso namin na kung umasta, parang mas matanda sa’kin.

Yun naman. But NOTE: hindi naman ito sa paninira sa kahit sa sino sa miyembro ng aming pamilya. Be open-minded when you attempt to read this post.

Nag-uusap kasi kami ng ate Kunyang ko kaninang tanghali about dad and mom. Badtrip kasi ako ke mudra. I arrived home yesterday to get my allowance from her only to find out na wala na naman siya sa bahay. Ang plano ko kasi, babalik din ng Bayombong para tapusin ang lahat ng assignments na iniwan ng aming propesor.

Sabi ng ate, bakit daw ganun sila. Mom wants us to treat and respect her as a real mother above everything but my ate pointed out that how are we gonna be the way mom wants us to be if in the first place, she herself fails to be a good example to us? Anjan kang halos araw araw murahin, lagi siyang wala. Ate even came to the point of comparing my mom to the other moms. Na bakit daw sina ganito, tamad naman gaya namin pero di sila minumura ng mama nila? I’d often contradict my sister’s perception of what my parents display saying “ikaw lang naman ang nagsasabi niyan eh.”

Don’t get me wrong, I love my mama and papa so much even they are very far from perfect parents. Minsan, kasi chocolate lover si papa, I’d buy him pasalubong, prepare a cup of coffee for him kasi mahilig din sa kape, o di kaya naman i-prepare ang pagkain niya. Si mama naman, di ko maiparamdam sa gawa ang pagmamahal ko sa kanya pero lagi kong sinasabi na pag nakapagtapos ako, i-spoil’in kosiya.

Halos lahat kaming magkakapatid may sama ng loob sa kanila the fact nakita naman namin ang pagkukulang nila. spiritual man o moral na paalala wala naibigay ang parents namin. Kung tutuusin, hindi naman masasabing mga suwail kaming anak sa kanila dahil kahit malaki ang pagkukulang nila, di namin sila binabastos.

Sino ba naman kasi ng mag-aakalang isang CPA (si papa), dukha? Ganito kasi, nasa mataas na posisyon sa isang kumpanya ang aking tatay noon at the same time, nililigawan siya ng ibang kumpanya sa mas mababang posisyon pero tutumbasan nila o higitan ang sweldo niya sa isang kumpanya. Ma-pride nga daw si papa dahil siguro visible na din nang mga panahong iyon na mababankrupt na yung pinagtatrabahuan niya, ni-reject niya yung mas malaking kumpanya.

Looking at the case positively, I may not be raised by perfect parents, their imperfections serve as my guide of how I will mold myself in order to become a good parent (if lucky to be one) someday.

Isa pa, sila ang gumawa sa’kin kaya ko naman naranasan kung paano mabuhay. Naranasan kong umiyak, masaktan, magmahal, magpaiyak, manakit at lahat lahat kaya dapat akong magpasalamat sa kanila.

Kung hindi dahil sa kanila, di ko makikita kung anong klaseng buhay ang nais kong iparanas sa magiging anak ko (kung nagkakaroon). Siyempre, di ko ipaparamdam at ipaparanas lahat ng karanasang di ko nagustuhan.

Iyon lamang muna sa ngayon.

sa tingin mo?:P

I am just stuck with the story we viewed this morning as part of our general psychology subject lecture.

It was a real story that displayed how young and juvenile youths were deprived of their rights as children--of their right to live their lives as real kids--to have fun and to pursue education.

I thought I can consider myself as one of the poorest citizens of this country but having watched such a story made me realize how far lucky I am compared to them. I admit, I really see life so tough and hard and challenging that sometimes, I would think of giving up instead of going on. It seems that life really goes unfair. Why is it that some could easily get anything they wish of having and do what they wish of doing and yet, here I am, one of those unfortunate for not having this kind of privilege. Somehow, I am thankful to have this realization that I am just being unreasonable in my way of thinking. So what, if I am not showered with earthly possessions? Like the lads who worked hard in the movie just to get going amidst the difficult toil they were into, life's uncertainties shouldn't stop me from dreaming that one day, I can attain the life I aim for.
For the time being, I may find it hard to ease away the pangs of envy I feel whenever I see my high school batch-mates who are already through with the hardships a college life brings about, I should not let it bring me down.
Back to the film we watched. There were boys and girls alike ranging 13 to 15 years old who, if not personally chosen to engage in a sort of farm works, were forced by their parents to leave school and go with them to find money meager to cover the debt of the family.
It may be a pitiful reality of my existence though, I admit that I can't recall a moment where either of my mom or dad taught me how to do house chores, or how to be courteous. I grew up in my own ways, of course with the help of environmental causes. When I was still an innocent kid, I would just do whatever I thought I could then when a point came that my parents would notice I got in the wrong track then time for them to rebuke me but the sad part was that I could not grasp why they say or do this or that. Can you imagine? It resulted to unmotivated me. Yes, the unmotivated me. The point in relation to the youths in the film is that how come I am weak-spirited compared to them who were raised poorly yet, they could still manage to portray a happy life? Poorly in the sense that they hardly enter school, they ate lesser than enough and worst, they themselves worked for their own when in fact, they should just enjoy being kids as how exactly kids of their age live.
On the other hand, it simply proves how poor Filipinos can be. I just do not know who worth the blame for the population of poor Filipino citizens. The government or the parents themselves?

happy birthday?

It may seem like another ordinary day of my life though it's my day-- i just turned 21.

Early this morning at around 8, a warm smile of my sister greeted me, though not a word came out from her mouth, i knew and i sensed from her warm smile, she wanted to greet me happy birthday. All I had in mind upon getting up from bed was that nothing's special, nothing to celebrate and no need to celebrate. Well, I really planned not to prepare foods for celebration, all I wanted to do weeks earlier is to have fun all by myself but even that simple idea I've got to come up with had been cancelled. It almost left me in tears actually but I didn't want to look stupid just because of small disappointments!

What I couldn't almost accept was that none of my house-mates bothered to greet me as though they were saying "it's-her-birthday-and-so-what"! Then after a while, my phone rang and lot of greetings from friends received. Next was a phone call from my best friend Joy which is the most special blessing for me this day.

i miss here..:)

Ayie!!! I miss everything here in the cyber world!!! It has been a month since my last entry huh..and i really miss everything here.i am kinda' unfortunate now for not having much time to update my social networking accounts including blog..wala kasing pang-internet.. poor girl!

well, i have very much in mind now but unluckily (again!), i can't stay long in front of this computer unit i rented for 30 minutes. i actually just dropped by here in a computer cafe to check facebook and yahoo messages and notifications.

guys, i miss reading your entries! hay..:(

take care..i hope makabisita ako sa inyo inyong mga site next time na mag-l0og in aku..=)

Magbago ka na kasi..

I don't have much to say, and neither do i have something significant in mind right now.
Tomorrow will be the first day of final examination and yet, I haven't began going through my notes as if the lessons are all fresh in my mind. In fact, it's almost right to say that nothing retains in my memory. I dunno what I have to go through first before learning to prioritize my studies. I admit, giving my best never crossed my mind throughout the whole school year. My friend Charly always reminded me but I was such a deaf. I didn't give importance to any of his advices, I still went on with my insignificant stuffs and nonsense routine -- putting unnecessary things first before education. I only thought of getting passing grades instead of high ones. And again, I am rueful about my performance for the whole school year. Imagine, my brother and my parents as well expect much from me but I failed them. If only I did my best, I would have met their expectations. Hay! I feel like I am the worst creation to be deplored in the whole universe. Grr.. Failing in some of my subjects I think would mean losing their trust in me. REPENTANCE ALWAYS COMES LAST!!!!

Advice of a friend is to admit in front of my family all my misdeeds and besides, it's not too late for me to change said he. But you know guys, I think I can't do it. One reason is that, they might upbraid me which is the least thing I would wish to happen.

I am not letting myself learn, I know. I feel like a waste, such a waste!:(

 

at least, i learned

These past weeks have been so tough for me. Lots of angst in life—in education and social as well—can’t say that I have moved on from my emotional stress. For the time being though, I am hopeful that at last, I had made up my mind and trust myself that it’s a decision for my own good. Spectacular approach of life for these past weeks should be ended.
It’s for me anyway. I know me myself make my own life and put it in peril. I don’t usually cry over matters not concerning family issues, but at this point of my life, while I can still clearly reflect on this “F” issue, I feel like crying my heart out. Somehow, I am thankful that not even a single drop comes out. I really cannot believe that I had to encounter this most terrible slip before learning when in fact, I have went through some of its kind back in 2007. Although, I inferior myself now just because of this slip up, I must accept what has been done and learn from it. Looking at the bright side, I must let it entail maturity in my individuality in collective aspect of life. And of course, I should not make it again. Don’t commit a mistake twice, as they put it.
I should thank Him for this wake up call for if it didn’t happen I haven’t yet seen what I have been neglecting. I admit that my relationship to Him have been cold for more than a month now. But has He ever forgotten and forsaken me despite those misdeeds I cannot give up? No. there had been many reminders from Him I just failed to recognize. And when this “F” issue occurred because of my recklessness, He still held me tight and reminded me that no matter what bitterness in this life comes along, He is the one who stays with us. If not because of Him, I might have gone through worse circumstance.


Wanna know what happened?
I got too interested with a man I met back in 2009 in Santiago. He introduced himself as Mr. “V”. Well, he really is a wow. A cum laude graduate of UST, CPA by profession and all that things an ordinary girl like me would go for—except that he is not the handsome face we girls usually look on first. At least, he is neat.


It has been more than a year since then and we never got out of touch. We chatted. Talked over the phone. Chatted. It was a routine. Until such one Wednesday morning, while I was preparing for my warm bath, my cellphone rang and a call from a new unregistered number appeared on screen. I was so curious who it was. A woman who was looking for a board mate spoke from the other line but the name she said doesn’t ring a bell so I said she was calling a wrong number. Out of the blue, she started cursing me. I had no idea of what she was saying. Then when she said, “Nagtext ka sa asawa ko kaninang 4am.” Since I ain’t the kitikitext type, I recalled the few saved numbers on my phone. And boom! I got it. My one and only chatmate who I would naturally suspect in this case for some reasons. Maybe you wonder why I sent message that early this day. I couldn’t find way to bring myself to sleep because of the noise but more of the nuisance this guy I love caused me, I took a quaff but it had no effect.
Perhaps, it’s from the liquor, I couldn’t get a point to respond on the woman’s detestable lines. Instead, I let her say all that shits as an initial reaction of a suspecting wife. And finally, “At least ate, ngayon alam mo na. kung gusto mu tulungan kitang huliin siya sa kalokohan niya……” I lengthily told her. I was able to calm her. Then in just a few minutes of conversation, the atmosphere turned out to be friendly.
I met her in Ilagan, we exchanged stories, we visited her brother’s wife, and I got along well with her “spokening dollar” son. We were like old time friends in our first meeting. I was worn-down from consecutive short travels and deprivation of sleep by then but it was okay as long as I helped the woman.

Badtrip! sayang!:)

Nakakainis lang ng sobra-sobra. May isang lalake kasi na "ex" ko daw pero hindi naman, pa-comment comment sa facebook status ko, sobra sobrang nakakaasar lang talaga. As in, sirang-sira araw ko kahapon at ngayon dahil sa mga papansin niyang comment. Hay! Yun talaga ang nakakainis sa mga taong barbaric eh. UU. Barbaric talaga na masahol pa tala sa taong kalye na walang pinag-aralan o di alam gamitin ang pinag-aralan. Parang di tinuruan ng moral lesson ng kung sinumang pwede magturo pero alanagan namang ako ang magturo eh mas matranda siya sa'ken. Grr.. Sarap magmura, andito lang sa harap ko yun, kanina ko pa pinagmumura. Masahol pa sa babaeng nagpapapansin sa lalakeng kinahuhumalingan. Haha. Exaggerated. Pero ganun kasi ang impact sa'kin ng ginagawa niya, wala naman akong balak magpapansin sa kanya, wala akong balak pakialaman ang buhay niya pero siya tong nang-aasar na para bang hindi aware na nkakaburaot na siya.. Hindi yata marunong makiramdam. Anu ba kasiang tamang panawag sa ganung klase ng tao?? Whew! Ako naman, sa sobrang badtrip, dito ko na sa blog naisipang ibuhos ang pagkaasar. Kung yaka ko lang siguro ipa-salvage yun, di talaga ako magdadalawang isip gawin. Nakakairita masyado eh. Isa siyang halimaw, unggoy, urangutan, ape. At kung anu ano pang kaparehong mukha! Di din obvious kung ganu ako naasar nu?

__________________________________________________________________

For an update, I have decided to cut my communication to the man I just met last Sunday for I think, I am not into the game he wants. Ayun! Guys nature, you know it men out there. I am dead interested with him pero ayun nga, ayoko ng ganun. I can't give him what he wants. Naintindihan ko namang ganun ang gusto niya kaya di ko inaway na alam kong gagawin ng ibang babae kung ganung pagtrato ang ipapakita sa kanila ng lalake. Ang saklap nga lang na siya na mismo ang angsabing inosenteng inosente ang dating ko. Tipong ilang beses pa tinanong kung nagka-boyfriend na ba talaga ako. Sa itsura siguro, mayuming suplada. Pero ganun pa rin, he still wanted to go on for the pleasure he is looking for. Sorry siya, I really won't give in for such affair. Saklap din talaga ng mundong ito, punung-puno ng kalalakihang ganun ang pag-uugali. Masyado matakaw sa makalamang pangangailangan. Tama naman diba? Maraming ganoon. Feeling ko nga may kulang sa mga taong ganun. Malamang, kulang sa pagkaing espirituwal pero wis ko feel mangaral dito sa blog. Ang masasabi ko, we all have our own unique ways of learning at ako, natuto namang sa bagay na to. Natuto akong umiwas ng lalakeng "iba" ang hinahangad sa'kin. Sayang nga lang, pasadong pasado talaga siya sa taste ko – five to ten years ahead sa'kin, edukado, as much as possible, may stable job na, at yun nga siya. Bakit ko ba naman kasi patatagalin ang" friendship" ko sa mga taong kagaya niya? Hindi ba pagsasayang ng oras yun? Buti pa 'tong blog, kahit di masagot ang marami kong katanugan, natutulungan akong pagaanin ang loob ko.

Tanungan

Well, for an update, I met up with a chat-mate yesterday.
Err...And honestly, I partly admire him and partly cannot appreciate...for many reasons.
One thing is for sure, he is indeed a very good catch...but though I feel like talking about him for now, I prefer not to take anything about him seriously. (kuha niyo na siguro kung bakit).
    ___________________________________________________

Sinagot ko na lang tong mga tanong na di naman intriguing, tinag kasi ako ni ate lolavie.

1. What is your idea of perfect happiness?
*being contented of what we can have and having no worries for anything..:)
2. What is your greatest fear?
*ghost, although i never experienced seeing one..haha
3. What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
*being vulnerable when it comes to relationship with opposite sex and being easily influenced..
4. What is the trait you most deplore in others?
*their insecurity towards others
5. What is your greatest extravagance?
*sa ngayon? pants..pero konte pa lang naman nabibili ko..
6. What do you consider as the most overrated virtue?
*fear of God (hihi)..gaya gaya ke ate lolavie
7. On what occasion do you lie?
*birthday. wahaha!!! fibbing..
       ....siguro kung ramdam kong nagsisinugaling din kausap ko..:)
8. What do you most dislike about your appearance?
*height and scars
9. Which living person do you most despise?
*mga insecure at tsismosa! grr.. nakakaawa lang dahil wala silang magawa sa buhay..:))
10. What is the quality you most like in a man?
*intelihente..
11. What is the quality you most like in a woman?
*true to herself
12. Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
*"syet!"
13. What or who is the greatest love of your life?
*siya..wag niyo na alamin pwede?
14. When and where were you happiest?
*wala ako maalala..
15. Which talent would you most like to have?
*singing, dancing, drawing, cooking, lahat lahat eh..haha
16. If you could change something about yourself, what would it be?
*height..kasiiii, di naman sa pagyayabang, "maraming maiinggit kung matangkad ka pa" sabi ng maraming kababaihan..:)
17. What do you consider your greatest achievement?
*meron ba ako nun? haha! siguro, siguro, ang agiging totoong tao ko sa lahat ng pagkakataon..achievement yun men..:))
18. If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what would it be?
*a rich, tall and more mature me..:)
19. Where would you most like to live?
*sa puso ng mahal ko na mahal din ako.. haha! kurni naman..
   ....seriously, sa sarili kong bahay na malayo sa kabihasnan at mga pangit na bagay! haha
20. What is your most treasured possession?
*my eyes, pag-aari ko to..haha
21. What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?
*death of people I love (yan na ding sagot ni ate lolavie)
22. What is your favorite occupation?
*occupation as in????
23. What is your most marked characteristic?
*being candid
24. What do you most value in your friends?
*i value everything about them..and yes, even their flaws for those are the things and reality about them that help me reflect on a certain thing and that help me grow-up..:)
25. Who are your favorite writers?
*john grisham
26. Who is your hero of fiction?
*wala..none
27. Which historical figure do you most identify with?
*kaw, sino?
28. Who are your heroes in real life?
*my brother
29. What are your favorite names?
*renz, pen
30. What is it that you most dislike?
*taong insecure, ang kulit ng mga tanong..
31. What is your greatest regret?
*can't say it here..:C
32. How would you like to die?
*silently.. and painlessly
33. What is your motto?
*"you have your brush and colors, and then in, you go.."


                 __________________________________
sa totoo lang, di ako makapag-isip kung sino ang ita-tag ko..

etong mga to na lang,

Jool

Inkblots

Denise..

have a good day!:)

Random nonsense..:)

My stomach seem to explode! Wee! I dunno why in hell I suddenly got this indisposed but hell sure, I don't feel like going to the CR to release "sama ng loob". Ha ha. It's damn painful. As usual, though this thing isn't usual, I again have too many complaints in my daily living. For this day, waking up too early even when my system has not yet fully rested from yesterday's tiring activities, being exposed to a research work (at this point of my college life?? Duhh!!), and my everyday life's twin which is being so nonsensical in everything I do, to mention some. I really ain't committed in every task I am assigned to work with. My life's twin indeed – walking without motivation, direction – a master and captain without any plan. I really have stopped planning for any thing. Not even for an hour activity. This is so bad.

Back in 2008, when I stayed at my tita's house in Fairview, Quezon City, I had always wished of going back to school and continue pursuing my chosen field. I had always told myself that no matter how hard our life may be, everything will be alright. I had promised myself to study hard as a stepping stone in going to the finish line of my endeavor. I always reminisced what I did in 2007 when I was still studying at Northeastern College – doing accounting stuffs, the debit-credit rule and everything about it which I hardly understood back then, and oh, those things that are still confusing for me up to now. I don't think it depends on how young or old a student for her/him to attain wider comprehension. And neither I would think that experience entails higher understanding in the course. Well, I mean it's kind of my second take of the course now but nothing has changed, after a classroom discussion, i still get to read the topic many times (which I actually neglect to do).

And to be true to myself for the time being, i miss having someone as sweet as Micky but not someone like him who is full of pretensions. I wish for someone who can be true to me. True explains everything i want in a man-woman relationship. i want one who doesn't see his relationship with me as a gamble to be played along safely in order for him to dump me when already finds another. someone who would lovingly build his own dreams with me and everything a girl wishes his man would be like. i want to give emphasis to this last line,

I want one who doesn't think of purely satisfying his carnal desire through me.

Pressure

PRESSURE...

Sobra sobrang nakaka-pressure..
Medyo napawi lang nang pagpasok ko sa gate, may pagkahaba-habang sinambit ang giwardiya pero and naintindihan ko lang, "good afternoon" na siyang pinakahuling sinabi niya. Haha! Wala lang. Of all the guards, siya ang unang bumati sa'kin nun.

Pero marami pa talaga akong gagawin.. Over ako sa pagmamadaling kumain kanina para makapag-log in dito sa Apo Pilo internet library. Hayun nga lang at naisipan ko pa talagang isingit mag-blog. To lessen the worries rushing in my system.

At eto pa, nakakaasar nga naman talaga. Parang patapon na section ang klase namin ng Accounting. Akalain mo, twice nang napalitan ang propesor namin. Meaning, pangatlo na yung ngayon. Problema nga naman. Parehong first time sa teaching field and dalawang humawak sa'min -- the previous and the current ones. Hopeful pa man din kami ng mga kaklase ko na bumalik yung unang humawak sa'min na ayon sa mga higher years, siyang pinakamagaling na tagapagturo ng accounting 1. O kahit yung si Dean na sana. haha..

Itatransfer ko pa yung mga journal entry kong nasa columnar notebook ko sa two-column journal. Assignment kasi yun (to be passed ata).

Isisingit ko na lang habang nasa klase ngayong 1 hanggang 5:30.:)